Personality
by Jammeke
Summary: Sheppard found a strange message in his inbox and got the ball rolling. By now, the mail's become unstoppable, leaving annoyance in its wake. It's even accomplished what no wraith ever managed to pull off... Reach Earth. Keller's chapter is now up.
1. Sheppard

**Title: **Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Summary**: Sheppard found a strange message in his inbox and got the ball rolling. By now, the mail's become unstoppable, leaving annoyance in its wake. It's even accomplished what no wraith ever managed to pull off... Reach Earth.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything to do with Stargate Atlantis. Except for the DVD boxes, of course.

**AN: **Recognize the contents of the mail? Of course you do. And I think our favorite characters do, too. Let's find out how they will react to the questions, shall we? I don't have a beta – any mistakes are my own.

**Personality**

John carefully leaned backward, hoping to keep the laptop from falling off his upper legs while at the same time trying to dispose of the cup of hot coffee in his right hand. Rodney would be pissed if he managed to spoil coffee over the scientist's favorite laptop, and John wasn't looking forward to dealing with a pissed McKay. Fortunately, the Lt. Colonel managed to put the cup on his nightstand in time.

The Internet had only just been established by a team of scientists, but it was already well visited. Unfortunately, John had not brought a laptop with him to Pegasus, because he'd neither had the money nor the interest at the time. All he knew back then was that he was going to another galaxy – and who expects Internet in another galaxy?

Of course, he hadn't expected to have to write mission reports back then, but he'd managed to postpone them pretty nicely so far. It was the main reason why he hadn't ordered a laptop from earth. He knew full well he could have ordered one the moment the Daedalus made contact with Atlantis, but somehow, Elizabeth was still buying his 'but I have no laptop' excuse, and he was not about to throw that excuse away.

The recently promoted Lieutenant-Colonel was a bit disappointed to see he had not received a lot of mails over the past year. Granted, he had not sought out contact with anybody, but it would have been nice if more than three people had noticed his being gone for twelve months.

One of the messages caught his eye. It was a mail from Steve. John wondered why his old friend had decided to contact him. Hoping the message wouldn't contain bad news, the Lt. Colonel clicked on the mail.

Five minutes later, the Air Force Officer was wearing a broad grin on his face. This message was fun. A bit childish, maybe, but what the heck was wrong with that? And it wasn't like the Lt. Colonel had anything else to do at the moment.

Suddenly, John thought of something, and a frown appeared on his face. The moment he saw the first question, he'd known McKay would be the next person to receive the mail, but this decision meant he would have to come up with _very_ annoying answers.

But he could do that, right?

With an amused smirk, John began to type.

* * *

**What is your name?**

John Sheppard  
**  
Where are you?**

That's classified information. I think. In my quarters?

**What are you wearing?**

Black T-shirt, BDU's, military boots, socks, boxers – do dog tags even count as clothing?

**Eye color**

The opinions differ. Some say hazel, others green or grey. I even heard blue once, but I do know for a fact that we can rule out blue. Maybe you should take a look up close…

**Hair color**

Black

**Relatives**

As in living relatives? As far as I can tell, one father and one brother.

**Is there someone with you?**

Nope, just me… And this laptop. Go figure.

**Type your name with your elbow**

uhioyhgjn swyhg4eopopkaqtrfxd

Huh. I think _someone's_ not going to be happy about the fact I just crushed his laptop with my elbow.

**Type your name with your foot**

jioophfdznjm asbhlre[poakspasdlnf

Name of patient: laptop  
Time of death: 7.30  
Cause of death: smashing

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Definitely chocolate.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

Huh. I don't think my passengers would have liked that…

**Movie**

Princess Bride

**TV-show**

Anything. But I don't watch reality TV; it frightens me to the depths of my soul.

**Song**

Solitary man – _Johnny Cash_

**What do you do for a living?**

I run. Fast. And I try to shoot the natives before they shoot me.

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

I suppose I could tell you. But then I'd have to shoot you.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**Favorite color**

Black. Or blue. Something like that. Green is okay, too…

**What did you have for breakfast?**

A muffin.

**What are you listening to right now?**

My own humming. It's a nice sound. Dr. McKay would know.  
**  
Winter or summer?**

Winter. Seriously. Food, friendship and all that stuff make life fulfilling. A snowboard completes it.

**Last thing you ate?**

The already renowned muffin.

**Do you smoke?**

Nope

**Which country would you like to visit?**

Er… none? But if I had to choose, I'd pick a place in Europe. I'm pretty sure it's the only continent where no country is at war at the moment.  
**  
Favorite place**

On Earth or in the Pegasus Galaxy? Oh, nice job, John – give away your secret location, why don't you? At present, it's the far balcony on the East Pier.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

I still haven't a clue. All right, fine... a pilot. Since before I was born.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

Yeah, I guess I do. They make me feel alive.

**Biggest fear**

To lose someone I care about.

**Do you swear?**

Only purposely.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Yup  
**  
Attracted to**

Depends on my mood…  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I'd cheerfully kill whoever came up with that ridiculous deadline.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

That would be Teyla. I told her to stop kicking my ass. She didn't listen.

**Can you sing?**

I can. But it doesn't sound pretty.

**Can you dance?**

I never tried that. Should I?  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee?**

A combination of both.

**Do you think your coffee with whipped cream?**

Not always. Darn, another secret revealed.  
**  
Favorite candy**

Chocolate muffins.  
**  
Are you a health freak?**

Depends on how you define healthy. I work out a lot.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person**

Well, _that_ depends on the person in question. Of course, their gender is always a factor…  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Someone my size. I hate cramped toes.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman, because McKay likes Batman better.

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness… Better yet, a combination of both.  
**  
Do you believe in God?**

I thought I did, until I set foot in the Pegasus galaxy… Wow, that sounds pessimistic. I don't know, really. I'd like to believe there's _something _out there.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Getting people killed.  
**  
Would you like to get married?**

Already done that. Don't plan on doing it again anytime soon.  
**  
Do you have a pet?**

Do cranky scientists count as pets? Because if so, I have a Rodney McKay.  
**  
Biggest ambition**

To finish War and Peace before Christmas. _And_ to get rid of every single Wraith in this galaxy.  
**  
Best friend**

I'm not going to go there.  
**  
Last body part you injured**

Hah, that's the toughest question so far. Let's see, I think it was my… elbow, when I was enthusiastically trying to type my name with it. Seriously, maybe you should ask Carson. All _I_ know is one of my ribs is feeling a little sore, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was the last body part I injured.  
**  
Favorite book**

Haven't a clue. What I _do_ know, is that it's not War and Peace.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Depends on the dentist is question. But not of the dentist in general.  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb?**

Some

**Have you showered recently?**

Sure, two years ago… Seriously, has anyone _not_?  
**  
Do you like to camp?**

Yeah

**Crush on**

Why, Chaya, of course… And all the other alien priestesses out there. Right, Rodney?  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to?**

To a man both near and dear to my heart: Dr. Rodney McKay.

**Anything to add?**

Nope [insert annoying tone]


	2. McKay

**Title: **Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Disclaimer**: I never claimed to own the series. However, that does not stop me from playing around with the characters.

**Personality**

Dr. Rodney McKay merely huffed when Colonel Sheppard returned his laptop to him. The man was late. Fortunately, McKay owned three laptops, and he'd lent the Sheppard his least favorite one, but that was _so_ beside the point. The Colonel had no manners. This, Rodney had discovered a long time ago, and the pilot had since then made a point of doing rude things every day to uphold his reputation.

With a grunt, the scientist sat down in his chair. As requested, the Daedalus had dropped the piece of furniture off in the city a few weeks ago. Rodney had picked an enormous chair with several supporting pillows. If he'd been forced to sit in one of those uncomfortable Ancient chairs one more day, the scientist was positive his back would have been history.

Rodney leaned backwards and reached for his chocolate cake. The moment his laptop was fully turned on, the doctor opened his mailbox. He frowned when he noticed he'd received a mail from his team leader. The man had borrowed his laptop in order to send him a message? What could the man possibly want?

Two minutes later, Rodney was sure his jaw had dropped to the ground and, if possible, had sunken through the floor and was now lying at the bottom of the ocean. Had Sheppard really sent him a chain mail? What was the man _thinking_? Of course, knowing that one needed brains in order to think, Rodney was more than capable of forgiving the Colonel his idiocy – most of the time.

For a moment, the scientist considered deleting the mail. But when he took another look at the questions, answers started swarming through his head. Well aware of the fact that the city didn't need saving at the moment, Rodney bit his upper lip. His having time off didn't mean he should start doing silly things – but maybe… Maybe answering the questions would be fun.

The scientist leaned closer to the screen, quickly scrolled through the questions, and made his decision. Three seconds later, the content of the Colonel's message was copied and pasted. Deciding he would think of someone to send the message to when he was done, Rodney left the upper bar open. He briefly wondered to what extent his team leader's answers were going to annoy him. Pushing the thought aside for the moment, he started to read and type.

* * *

**What is your name?**

My name is Dr. Rodney McKay  
**  
Where are you?**

I am in my lab.

**What are you wearing?**

My Atlantis uniform, which, I have to say, is not the most comfortable outfit to wear. Now that the Daedalus flies by every few weeks, we can ask for more suitable clothes. Oh, and we should definitely get the SGC to change the colors. I mean – why is it that the military gets to wear black and blue, while I am stuck with beige?

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color **

Okay, you know what – what is the point in answering this question? Do I have to tell _myself_ what my hair color is? Because I already _know_ what my hair color is, thank you very much. And why should I tell the person I am going to send this list to what my hair color is? What, are they blind?

**Relatives **

Sister

**Is there someone with you? **

My science team and they had better not burn down the lab while I am busy answering ridiculous quizzes.  
**  
Type your name with your elbow **

What? Do you know how harmful that – oh, har har, Colonel. Very funny.  
**  
Type your name with your foot**

Oh, you know what? Make me.  
**  
Chocolate or vanilla? **

Could this question _be_ any vaguer? I mean, care to elaborate? Chocolate muffins are more tasteful, obviously, but if we're talking ice cream, vanilla is the better flavor by far. And do vanilla bars even exist? God, I am sure those would be disgusting! Now, chocolate cake tastes better than vanilla cake, but that's just because vanilla cake's so damn dry. Frankly, I'm not sure which pudding I like best; they are head to head.  
**  
Have you ever jumped off a plane? **

What? No! Why would I do that?  
**  
Movie **

Batman  
**  
TV-show **

Jeopardy  
**  
Song **

The power of love _– Celine Dion _

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

Well that would be obvious: I was powering up my laptop. And moments before that, I was retrieving the thing from a certain Lt. Colonel.  
**  
Coffee or tea? **

Coffee!  
**  
What did you have for breakfast? **

Toast with scrambled eggs and blue Jell-O.  
**  
Favorite color **

Blue  
**  
What are you listening to right now? **

To my stomach. It's informing me it's lunchtime.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Winter, no doubt. My skin is very fair and the sun is just plain evil – and out to get me every year.  
**  
Last thing you ate? **

Chocolate cake.  
**  
Do you smoke? **

No

**What country would you like to visit?**

Somewhere not too cold, not too hot – where it's not too dry, but not too rainy either. I don't know. I never go on vacations anyway.  
**  
Favorite place **

My bed.  
**  
What do you want to be when you are grown up? **

A brilliant scientist. Wait, I already am.  
**  
Do you like thunderstorms?**

_No_. What gave you the impression I did?  
**  
Biggest fear **

Oh God, there's so many. To die, to get injured, to get locked up, to get taken prisoner, to be forced to keep my mouth shut, bees, lemons…

**Do you swear?**

On occasion, yes.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

Is this the 'let's see if we can come up with the stupidest question ever' contest? Well, congratulations: you've officially been nominated by me! Of course I haven't.  
**  
Attracted to **

Blond, blue eyed, smart women.  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would figure out a way to expand that day to, say, forty years.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

That would be the idiotic Chinese scientist, Mika – or something, and I told her that she was going to get us all killed.

**Can you sing? **

No

**Can you dance?**

All right, you know what? This is _so_ unfair. I mean, I can do just about anything, and you have to ask about the few things I can't do? I'll have you know I am, in fact, an incredibly smart scientist.  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Coffee!  
**  
Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

No. See, because of the hotness of the liquid, the whipped cream tends to melt. This leaves you with coffee that tastes like it has milk in it, and that combination is decidedly disgusting.  
**  
Favorite candy **

Fudge

**Are you a health freak?**

God, no. Good food and television are too important to me. I do work out a lot. It's something to do with my being a member of the 'bad luck team'. I have gotten so used to running for my life; I can now run for five minutes straight.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

Their hair, followed closely by their IQ.  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

I like my own shoes just fine, thank you very much.  
**  
Batman or Superman? **

Batman  
**  
Money or happiness? **

Oh please, everyone knows you can't be happy without money.  
**  
Do you believe in God? **

I believe in the concept of God.  
**  
The stupidest thing you've ever done **

I don't do stupid thin– well, my blowing up 5/6th of a solar system _could_ be tagged as stupid.

**Would you like to get married?**

Who knows, maybe one day? If I find someone who is – well, smart, funny, good looking and blond and... willing to put up with me. Yeah. Yeah – I might like that. But no kids!  
**  
Do you have a pet? **

I have a cat. Unfortunately, I had to leave the poor animal behind on Earth.  
**  
Biggest ambition **

To win the Nobel Prize.  
**  
Best friend **

I have _many_ good friends. I'll have you know I am a very social person.

**Last body part you injured**

That would be my toe.  
**  
Favorite book **

There are way too many good books to pick a favorite. But I must say I only have _good_ things to say about the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

No. Despite my dentist being a hairy lunatic, I am not.  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

Yes, yes, yes – until my ever dying breath – yes.  
**  
Have you showered recently? **

Of course I have.  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

No  
**  
Crush on **

I do have this thing for Samantha Carter, but I wouldn't exactly call it a crush. See, our bond goes deeper than that. People with a crush tend to giggle and blush like idiotic teenagers. The Lt. Colonel and I are both grown adults, and therefore perfectly capable of facing our feelings.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

Elizabeth? I trust you'll handle the situation as you see fit. Oh, and I take no responsibility for this message. It was entirely Sheppard's idea.  
**  
Anything to add? **

I'd like to once again point out this mail is ridiculous. Other than that? No.


	3. Weir

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**AN: **Thank you for the kind reviews! I am glad you are enjoying this story!

**Personality**

Elizabeth did not believe she had ever been this tired. Granted, life in the city of Atlantis was always a bit hectic, but the last few days had been particularly hard on her as a leader.

Watching her commander officer – who also happened to be one of her closest friends – turn into a bug wasn't something she'd ever expected to experience and she never wanted to go through that again. Unfortunately, she knew there was no way to keep John and his bad luck charm out of harm's way. The man was a magnet for trouble.

The Doctor hadn't had the chance to check her mail in three days. When she opened her inbox, she was shocked at the amount of messages waiting for her when. She'd promised Carson she'd turn in early today, but judging from the number of messages, she realized she was going to have to break that promise. The urge to close her laptop and go to bed was overwhelming, but Elizabeth was a leader, and with leadership came responsibilities. Placing her people before her own needs was one of the consequences of being the head of Atlantis.

When she opened McKay's third mail, she was about half way through the list. The first two mails had been about his latest science project, and she braced herself for a third wave of techno babble.

After reading the first line, the corners of Elizabeth's mouth started creeping up. When she was at the bottom of the page, her mood had lightened considerably. Some of her old colleagues used to send her messages like these. She'd soon started to suspect they had simply wanted to know whether she had any hobbies – or a life at all.

So Rodney was in the chain mail sending business, too? Elizabeth had read the line about the mail being Sheppard's idea, and she wasn't surprised about that. However, the fact that Rodney McKay had answered every single question came as a big surprise to her. Though she had to admit the man couldn't resist answering questions whenever he got the chance, not particularly caring if they were pointless or scientifically based.

She did not have time for this, and should therefore not be considering doing the test.

It took less than two seconds for her to open a new mail and delete McKay's answers.

Elizabeth Weir was going to answer the questions, bed time be damned. And she knew just the person to send the message to: Dr. Zelenka. Since the arrival of new laptops on Atlantis, the man had spent hours creating mail accounts for the Athosians and the people who hadn't had one yet. It was about time the man got a reward for his hard mailbox-based work.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Elizabeth Weir  
**  
Where are you? **

I am in my office.

**What are you wearing?**

Grey pants, a red T-shirt, a necklace and brown shoes.  
**  
Eye color **

Green  
**  
Hair color **

Brown

**Relatives **

My mother.  
**  
Is there someone with you?**

No, everyone else has gone to bed. This reminds me to have a chat with Chuck Campbell, who was supposed to be on night duty.  
**  
Type your name with your elbow **

rekluizsahbetrjh ewreuire

**Type your name with your foot **

I may be here all by myself, but I have enough dignity not to do that.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate  
**  
Have you ever jumped off a plane? **

I've not.  
**  
Movie **

When Harry met Sally  
**  
TV-show **

Grey's anatomy  
**  
Song **

Imagine _– John Lennon  
_**  
What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was reading through (lots of) other messages.  
**  
Coffee or tea? **

I always drink tea in the morning, but I have a preference for coffee in the afternoon and evening.  
**  
What did you have for breakfast? **

An apple.  
**  
Favorite color **

Red  
**  
What are you listening to right now? **

I am listening to the beeping sound of an Ancient device. Someone must have forgotten to turn it off, and since I do not have the ATA-gene, I am forced to just sit here and endure it.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Summer. I'm not good at getting up when it's still dark outside. I also prefer sunshine over rain and snow.  
**  
Last thing you ate? **

The apple I mentioned earlier. I think I'm going to grab myself a sandwich, because answering these questions might take a while.  
**  
Do you smoke? **

No, and neither does anyone else on the base. The first rule to appear on the message boards was that smoking is strictly prohibited within the walls of the city.

**What country would you like to visit?**

Hm, I would love to go to Greece someday.

**Favorite place **

The far balcony on the East Pier.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up? **

I always wanted to be a diplomat. Of course, I am less naïve when it comes to World Peace nowadays.  
**  
Do you like thunderstorms? **

No, I don't.

**Biggest fear**

I fear making wrong decisions.

**Do you swear?**

I try not to, but I have to confess I don't always succeed.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

No, I'm not a fan of dangerous sports.  
**  
Attracted to **

I think I will keep that to myself.  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would say goodbye to my friends and loved ones.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

I last talked to Carson and I told him I would soon get some rest. Consider the irony.

**Can you sing?**

I used to sing a lot back on Earth and it didn't sound too awful. Of course, I can hardly be taken for an objective source.

**Can you dance?**

Yes  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

That depends on the time of the year. I love crawling onto a couch with a cup of hot chocolate when it's cold outside, but I don't drink the sinful liquid during summer.  
**  
Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

Occasionally, yes.  
**  
Favorite candy **

Chocolate  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

_I_ think I'm a healthy person. But I bet Carson would beg to disagree.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

The way they treat those surrounding them.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Sometimes, I wish I could travel through the Stargate as one of the off-world team members. To be offered the opportunity to visit other worlds and befriend new people would be a great challenge.  
**  
Batman or Superman? **

Neither. I can't even tell what they look like.  
**  
Money or happiness? **

Happiness, although I believe that in Western society, it is nearly impossible for one to be happy without owning at least two cars.

**Do you believe in God?**

Yes  
**  
The stupidest thing you've ever done **

I once attempted to dye my hair. To say _that_ was a mistake, would be putting it lightly.  
**  
Would you like to get married? **

Actually, I would. Provided the right person comes along.  
**  
Do you have a pet? **

I have a dog named Sedge.  
**  
Biggest ambition **

To learn all there is to know about the Ancient culture and technology. I fear ridding Earth of war will forever be a childhood dream.

**Best friend **

I don't approve of questions like these. They only cause disappointment.  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

Surprisingly, it's always the people around me who get hurt.  
**  
Favorite book **

Watership down.  
**  
Are you afraid of the dentist? **

I used to be when I was little.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

I have no idea what to think of them. But I _do_ enjoy answering them.  
**  
Have you showered recently? **

Now that's what I call a confronting question!  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

My parents used to take me camping when I was young, and I loved those vacations. But as I grew older, I started to prefer hotels over campgrounds. Hotels are cleaner and less chaotic.  
**  
Crush on **

Am I allowed to say Johnny Depp? It's not a big crush, really, but I'm amazed at the number of characters the man is able to portray. And Depp is probably closer to my age than most men in Hollywood.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

Teyla Emmagan.  
**  
Anything to add? **

Teyla, you do not have to follow in this remarkable tradition. Joining in it is supposedly a way of getting to know your friends better. If you'd like, you can copy the text into a new mail and fill in your own answers. I hope I didn't bother you with my message.

Elizabeth


	4. Teyla

**Title:** Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**AN:** Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! Many of you noted I spelled Batman wrong; thank you for correcting me. Please let me know ff you pick up on any more mistakes, so that I can re-post the corrected version.

**Personality **

When Dr. Heightmeyer invited Teyla into her office, she had a wide smile plastered upon her face. Teyla nodded politely to the blond woman, and stepped inside the Doctor's office. The Athosian often wondered whether psychologist were supposed to smile all the time. Teyla had once questioned the genuineness of Dr. Heightmeyerand her sweet smiles. However, that was before the Athosian started working with the blonde to better understand her nightmares about the Wraith. Teyla had found great comfort in consulting Kate Heightmeyer. She had often found herself wandering into the Doctor's office to pay her an unscheduled visit. During those sessions with the psychologists, Teyla had sensed but a truly sincere woman. She had never again questioned Dr. Heightmeyer's sincerity, though she had resolved in never again suspecting one's display of kindness so readily.

Kate was staring at her, obviously waiting for Teyla to start talking. The Athosian bowed her head slightly. "I have not come to you to talk about my feelings. Instead, I find myself wanting to ask you a favor."

Kate didn't try to cover her surprise. "Of course, what is it?"

"I would like to, as Colonel Sheppard phrases it, check my mail," Teyla said carefully, afraid she had used the wrong phrase. She raised her head a little higher. "Colonel Sheppard declared that from this moment on, we are to receive our mission schedules by means of… mail."

Kate nodded in understanding. She rolled her chair back and grabbed her laptop from her desk. As she handed the device over to Teyla, she said, "For the moment, you can use my laptop. But if you are to receive your schedule by mail from now on, I strongly suggest you get your own laptop."

Teyla chose not to respond to that suggestion, instead focusing on opening the laptop. Even though she'd become used to using a laptop, she was still amazed at the brightness of the screen. The device fascinated her. However, she did not want to own such a machine herself. The piece of technology unnerved her.

Kate showed her how she could open her 'mailbox', and Teyla was flattered to see two mails waiting for her. Beside the mail from Colonel Sheppard, she noticed Elizabeth had sent her a message as well. With some difficulty, she managed to click onto the message.

Teyla patiently allowed for Kate to explain to her how she could send a mail. Moments later, she was capable of opening a new message and pasting text into it. The Athosian didn't quite grasp why Earthlings prefered sending mails over talking when it came to getting to know each other better. However, she also knew the humans from Earth were a private people, and she suspected writing their personal information down made them feel more comfortable.

Staring at the first question, Teyla decided to stop questioning the meaning behind the mail and made to type her name.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Teyla Emmagan  
**  
Where are you? **

I am in Dr. Heightmeyer's office

**What are you wearing?**

I am wearing my Atlantis uniform.  
**  
Eye color **

Brown  
**  
Hair color **

Brown

**Relatives **

They have all been taken by the Wraith.  
**  
Is there someone with you? **

Yes, Dr. Heightmeyer is here with me.  
**  
Type your name with your elbow **

Teyla Emmagan  
**  
Type your name with your foot **

Teyla Emmagan  
**  
Chocolate or vanilla? **

I have not yet tasted vanilla. I can not give you an honest answer.  
**  
Have you ever jumped off a plane? **

Is a plane not a flying machine? Why would one choose to jump off it?

**Movie**

According to Colonel Sheppard, I should have seen_ '_Back to the Future' a long time ago. I do not find the title that appealing.  
**  
TV-show **

I do not believe I would ever watch a box for entertainment.  
**  
Song **

There are many songs that bring tears to my eyes, but I have always found 'Circle of Hope' to be the most beautiful.  
**  
What were you doing before you opened this? **

Dr. Heightmeyer was teaching me how to open my 'mailbox'.  
**  
Coffee or tea? **

I have a preference for herbal tea.  
**  
What did you have for breakfast? **

I drank a cup of Athosian tea this morning.  
**  
Favorite color **

I find the color of the ocean to be very beautiful  
**  
What are you listening to right now? **

I am listening to the sound of my fingers coming in contact with the keys.

**Winter or summer?**

Summer  
**  
Last thing you ate? **

A piece of bread.  
**  
Do you smoke? **

I do not believe so.

**What country would you like to visit?**

I do not know the names of the countries on Earth, but Dr. McKay speaks very highly of Kanadra.  
**  
Favorite place **

The woods of Athos.  
**  
What do you want to be when you are grown up? **

I believe that I am still myself.  
**  
Do you like thunderstorms? **

No, I do not.

**Biggest fear**

That I will not be able to protect my people.

**Do you swear?**

I would never dishonor the names of the Ancestors.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

I have not.

**Attracted to**

I do not believe I choose to answer this.  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would ask my people to prepare the Ring Ceremony, and I would say goodbye to my loved ones.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

I last talked to Dr. Heightmeyer, and I asked her how I could 'delete' a sentence.

**Can you sing?**

Yes

**Can you dance?**

Yes  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

I have not ever tasted hot chocolate, but I do not enjoy the taste of coffee.  
**  
Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

I do not drink coffee.  
**  
Favorite candy **

I find the yellow jell-O to be quite tasteful.  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

I have always taken good care of myself. Does this make me a healthy freak?  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

Their serenity.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Should I want to stand in the shoes of another? I am quite comfortable in my own shoes.  
**  
Batman or Superman? **

I do not know. **  
**

**Money or happiness?**

I would choose happiness over money.

**Do you believe in God? **

I do not understand which God this question is referring to, but I do believe in the Ancestors.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

I believe that one should always try learn from their mistakes. I have been 'stupid' to make one mistake two times in the past.  
**  
Would you like to get married? **

I would like to encounter a man I would _want_ to get married to.  
**  
Do you have a pet? **

I find the idea of owning a living being to be disturbing.  
**  
Biggest ambition **

I hope to contribute to a peaceful galaxy for my friends and loved ones.  
**  
Best friend **

I have many good friends.  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

I hurt my head when Ellia attacked me.  
**  
Favorite book **

I have not yet read a book.  
**  
Are you afraid of the dentist? **

Should I be?  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

I do not always understand them, but I will not condemn things I do not understand.  
**  
Have you showered recently? **

I shower every morning.  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

I have camped for the better part of my life and I have never hated it.  
**  
Crush on **

I do not understand.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

I am going to send this list to Ronon Dex. Ronon, it would appear answering this mail is a way of getting to know your friends better. I consider you a friend and therefore, I am sending you this e-mail. Do not feel forced to share in this tradition.

**Anything to add?**

I do not believe so.


	5. Ronon

**Title**: Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Disclaimer**: I do not and will never own Stargate Atlantis. If I did, the movie would be out by now.

**Personality**

Ronon Dex remembered exactly how he'd ended up in the infirmary, and was silently cursing himself in every language he could think of. The Satedan should have known something bad was about to happen the moment he saw Beckett and his nurses. Usually, his instincts _did_ tell him when to run, but they'd failed him completely earlier today. Despite his anger at the situation, Ronon had to admit he would not have allowed himself to get captured by the doc if it hadn't been for the effects of the withdrawal. He wouldn't have let himself be strapped to a gurney in the infirmary if he'd been feeling well.

Ronon frowned at the screen of the leptok Sheppard had dropped off. His team leader seemed to know exactly how bored the Satedan was. After he'd dropped the thing on his bed, Sheppard had grinned at Ronon like he'd done him a big favor. Ronon had stared at him.

It had taken about thirty seconds for Sheppard to realize that Ronon did not know what the leptok was, and he'd given the Satedan a brief explanation of what the device could do. Apparently, McKay had already created an eejmail-account for him. Sheppard had suspiciously added that he'd been mailing the mission schedules to him for weeks now. He'd wanted to know how Ronon had known when to show up in the Gate Room. Ronon hadn't bothered to let the word 'Teyla' slip.

He stared at the underlined words 'send this to all your friends', and assumed the word _this_ stood for one of those eej-mails. What was he supposed to do? Did the meejl contain a mission schedule? If so, how did he open it?

Teyla provided him with some helpful advice from where she was laying in the bed next to him, and it only took three minutes for Ronon to figure out how to click onto the message. When the screen changed, he gave Teyla a questioning look. She gave him a friendly nod, and told him to read the message. Apparently, she had been the one to send it.

Fifteen minutes later, Ronon was even more convinced of the fact he did not understand these people. But they'd offered him a home and they killed wraith on a daily basis. It was all he could ask from his friends. Ronon vaguely recalled he'd vowed not to join the Earthlings in their weirdness. But hadn't he already done so by choosing to live with them?

Shrugging, he deleted Teyla's answer. Why she had bothered to type them down, all the while knowing he was going to erase them,was a mystery to Ronon. He chose not to point out to her the uselessness of the meejl. Instead, he started typing down his own answers.

Ronon's answers were going to be deleted as well...

The Satedan decided he did not care.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Specialist Ronon Dex

**Where are you?**

Infirmary

**What are you wearing?**

Scrubs

**Eye color**

Brown

**Hair color **

Brown

**Relatives**

No

**Is there someone with you? **

Teyla

**Type your name with your elbow **

54iohjo9jh drfredxd

**Type your name with your foot**

trfdl;pmnblnmb xdredvc

**Chocolate or vanilla? **

Chocolate

**Have you ever jumped off a plane? **

No

**Movie **

No

**TV-show **

No

**Song **

No

**What were you doing before you opened this**

Laying

**Coffee or tea? **

None

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Chicken

**Favorite color **

Any

**What are you listening to right now?**

Beeping

**Winter or summer? **

Don't care

**Last thing you ate? **

Food

**Do you smoke?**

No

**What country would you like to visit? **

None

**Favorite place**

Gym

**What do you want to be when you are grown up? **

Err

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

No

**Biggest fear**

Doc's needles

**Do you swear?**

Yeah

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Yeah

**Attracted to **

Meh

**What would you do if you only had one day left? **

Die fighting

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

Teyla. Told her this is weird.

**Can you sing?**

No

**Can you dance?**

No

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

No hot. Just chocolate.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No

**Favorite candy**

Chocolate

**Are you a health freak? **

No

**First thing you notice in another person**

Capability

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Mine

**Batman or Superman? **

Neither

**Money or happiness?**

What's money?

**Do you believe in God?**

No

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Get captured by wraith.

**Would you like to get married?**

Meh

**Do you have a pet?**

No

**Biggest ambition**

Kill wraith

**Best friend**

A loyal friend

**Last body part you injured**

Stomach

**Favorite book **

No

**Are you afraid of the dentist? **

No

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

Yeah

**Have you showered recently?**

Yeah

**Do you like to camp?**

No

**Crush on**

Err

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

Doc

**Anything to add?**

No

* * *

Well, that was a mouthful. I hope you all liked this chapter, even though there was not much to read... Next: Beckett. Please let me know what you think!


	6. Beckett

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Personality **

Feeling satisfied, Carson Beckett closed Colonel Sheppard's medical file. The additions weren't long, because the Colonel had given him a very brief description of the injuries he sustained during the past _six_ months. The doctor had known Sheppard wouldn't mention every injury. Therefore, he'd given the Colonel a thorough post-exam afterwards. Fortunately, he'd been able to state the Colonel didn't sport any lasting injuries from the beast's attacks. The man also didn't seem to be suffering from side effects that could have been caused by the time dilation field.

Carson still couldn't quite get his head around the fact that the Colonel spent six months cut off from Atlantis, and he was convinced a visit to Dr. Heightmeyer would do the man good. The Doctor didn't doubt Sheppard would turn the suggestion down, but he sincerely believed that with Elizabeth backing him up, he'd succeed in wrestling the Colonel into the psychologist's office.

The doctor was about to close his laptop when he thought of something. He'd forgotten to check his mail. Maybe his mother had sent him another one of her prescriptons. Carson had asked her to do so every month, because he didn't trust other doctors to properly take care of her.

Carson was surprised to see another mail waiting for him. At first, he didn't know who sent him the message. Then, he remembered Rodney had created mail accounts for everyone who lacked one a few months back. Taking this into consideration, the name of the sender (cave-man74) seemed only natural. But _why_ had Ronon Dex sent him a message? Until a few seconds ago, Carson didn't even know the man knew how to use a laptop. Finding himself curious about the Satedan's intentions, he clicked onto the message.

A few minutes later, Carson was even more surprised. He would never have pegged Ronon as a sender of chain mail, and even if he _had_, he wouldn't have believed the man would send it to _him_. Feeling strangely flattered, the doctor copied the text and pasted it into a new mail. Who was he to break with a tradition that involved even Ronon? It would be cruel not to continue with this little stunt.

The question was: who was he going to send the mail to? Rodney? Beckett decided against it. His friend was many things, but he didn't think a chain mail fan was one of them. Elizabeth? He couldn't bother the already busy woman with a meaningsless test, could he?

Suddenly, an idea hit him. Why not make something good come of this message? Sending the silly mail to Dr. Heightmeyer would spare him a walk to her office. The woman was so used to hearing other people's answers; it would be fun to see _her_ do the answering for a change.

The doctor typed down the psychologist's name and address, and leaned back in his chair to read Ronon's answers.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Carson Beckett

**Where are you?**

I'm in me office.

**What are you wearing?**

Me charming white doctor's coat and the rest of me medical uniform.  
**  
Eye color **

Blue

**Hair color **

Brown

**Relatives**

Me mom

**Is there someone with you? **

No  
**  
Type your name with your elbow **

fcasredsdoijn hbeckiett

**Type your name with your foot**

I'm a medical doctor, not a bloody acrobat!  
**  
Chocolate or vanilla? **

Vanilla  
**  
Have you ever jumped off a plane? **

I'm merely the one fixing up the poor buggers who have been tha' stupid.  
**  
Movie **

Braveheart

**TV-show **

Whisky Galore  
**  
Song **

"Scots Wha Hae"  
**  
What were you doing before you opened this **

I just gave Colonel Sheppard a post-mission exam.  
**  
Coffee or tea? **

Coffee. With milk.  
**  
What did you have for breakfast? **

Scrambled eggs.  
**  
Favorite color **

Green  
**  
What are you listening to right now? **

I am listening ter me own typing.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Summer, though ye can never tell the difference in Scottland.  
**  
Last thing you ate? **

A powerbar.  
**  
Do you smoke? **

'ff Course not. Live long and healthy, tha's me vote.

**What country would you like to visit?**

All of them, if possible.  
**  
Favorite place **

Me mom's home.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

A medical doctor. Please note tha' I intended to be one in me own galaxy.  
**  
Do you like thunderstorms? **

No, and I can't think of any reason why I should.  
**  
Biggest fear **

Ter lose a live on the operation table.

**Do you swear?**

Aye, in both Scottish and English. I can be a nasty bugger sometimes.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

Heavens no.  
**  
Attracted to **

Lt. Laura Cadman, tha's no bloody secret anymore, now is it?  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I'd return home ter say goodbye to me mom.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

Tha'd be Colonel Sheppard and I told him ter go shave his face.

**Can you sing?**

A wee bit.

**Can you dance?**

No  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Hot chocolate  
**  
Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

Aye, sometimes.  
**  
Favorite candy **

Me mom's scones.  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

I s'ppose.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

Their physical condition.  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

I'm comfortable in me own shoes, thank ye very much - as long as I'm no' off world!  
**  
Batman or Superman? **

Superman  
**  
Money or happiness? **

Happiness, 'ff course!  
**  
Do you believe in God? **

Aye  
**  
The stupidest thing you've ever done **

Firing a drone at a helicopter by sitting in a chair. Tha' stupid enough for ye?  
**  
Would you like to get married? **

Ooh, tha'd be charming. Maybe, one day.  
**  
Do you have a pet? **

No, this is no place for animals.  
**  
Biggest ambition **

Ter save lives.

**Best friend **

Rodney McKay  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

I banged me knee agains' a bed last week.  
**  
Favorite book **

The Clan of the Cave Bear

**Are you afraid of the dentist? **

A wee bit.  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

Och, I don't know.  
**  
Have you showered recently? **

'ff Course I have.  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

Aye, if the weather's good.  
**  
Crush on **

Trying ter trick me inter confessing it twice, er? Lt. Cadman.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

Dr. Kate Heightmeyer  
**  
Anything to add? **

Kate,  
I'm sorry ter bother ye with this test, but I needed to contact ye anyways, so don't mind me questions and answers. Now, on with business: I'm convinced tha' Col. Sheppard will need an appointment with ye, to talk about his abandonment issues. I don't care wha' he says, I don't believe him when he tells me tha' he's fine. No one's fine after going through wha' he's been through. Please respond ASAP.

Dr. Carson Beckett

* * *

From now on, I'll be writing for the secondary characters. Of course those characters have less reason to interact with each other, so let's hope I'm creative enough to think of a reason why they would. Thanks for reading this chapter.


	7. Heightmeyer

**Title**: Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Disclaimer**: Don't own any of it. Meh.

**AN**: The author of this story would like to thank you for feeding her wonderful reviews!

**Personality**

Dr. Kate Heightmeyer finished reading Doctor Beckett's message with a smile upon her face. The woman hadn't received a chain mail in years. Beside her own excitement at the prospect of answering the questions, she was also thrilled at the fact that the members of the expedition were sending chain mail to each other. Original actions did wonders for morale, and it showed just how willing the inhabitants of the city were to get to know each other better. Yes, Kate Heightmeyer very much approved of the message.

Beckett's message about Colonel Sheppard bothered her, though. She ran into him yesterday, and he'd seemed perfectly fine to her. The fact that he spent six months on another planet was no secret to her, but was he really suffering from abandonment issues? The members of the expedition certainly couldn't afford for their CO to distrust them.

At present, Colonel Sheppard and his team were off world, and Kate knew she couldn't have a chat with the man right now. However, she was determined to make an appointment with him the moment he got back. Bless Carson and his thoughtfulness.

After she made herself concentrate on the mail again, the Doctor thought for a moment. Who was she going to send the message to? Sending it to a friend was certainly an attractive option, but she could also send it to someone who never received any mail.

Deciding to go with the latter, Kate opened a new message. The Doctor would send the mail to Dr. Kavanagh. She knew for a fact that the scientist didn't have any friends on Atlantis. Maybe the mail would help him open up to the other expedition members. Ever since the man had been accused of being a Goa'uld spy, the man had spent most of the time down in his lab, stubbornly working on his projects.

Suddenly, the Doctor thought of something. Her being the city's psychologist wasn't a secret to anyone. It was likely the scientist would feel humiliated or ashamed if she attempted to speak with him. Maybe Kate should go more subtle about the situation.

A new idea formed in the psychologist's head, and she quickly typed the name of Major Evan Lorne above her message. She bet the friendly Major would be more than willing to assist her. Yes, the Major could make things easier for her.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Kate Heightmeyer

**Where are you?**

I am in my office, which is located on the eighteenth floor of the Central Tower.

**What are you wearing?**

I'm wearing a pink sweater and beige pants.

**Eye color**

Green

**Hair color**

I am a natural blonde, actually.

**Relatives**

I have two younger sisters, Lara and Nancy.

**Is there someone with you?**

No, I keep work and personal life strictly separated.

**Type your name with your elbow**

kjiastrer hgeigfjhtreyurer

**Type your name with your foot**

klzxytrfased yhgreuigfhytrreyuretr

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate. Not only does it brighten the mood; it tastes heavenly as well.

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

No, I have not.

**Movie**

Donnie Darko

**TV-show**

Dr. Phill. Please don't start with me. I _know_.

**Song**

Bridge over troubled water _- Simon and Garfunkel_

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

I was having a… conversation with Dr. Zelenka.

**Coffee or tea?**

I prefer a nice cup of tea.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I had a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of orange juice.

**Favorite color**

Pink

**What are you listening to right now?**

To nothing. I find it refreshing, actually.

**Winter or summer?**

Summer; I honestly believe sunlight improves the mood.

**Last thing you ate?**

A brownie.

**Do you smoke?**

No, most definitely not.

**What country would you like to visit?**

I would love to go to a tropical country.

**Favorite place**

Lara's cabin in Canada.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

Actually, I wanted to become a dentist when I was a child.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

I really don't.

**Biggest fear**

I'm afraid of heights. And spiders had better not come close to me either.

**Do you swear?**

Generally, I don't.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

I might have, had I not been terrified of falling off.

**Attracted to**

No one in particular.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I honestly have no idea. Talk to a psychologist, maybe?

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Dr. Zelenka, and what I told him is _strictly_ classified.

**Can you sing?**

No, I can't.

**Can you dance?**

As a matter of fact, yes, I can.

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

That depends on where I am in my day.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No, I don't. I actually never tried that. Is it any good? All right, I just realized I asked my screen a question. This job must be rubbing off on me.

**Favorite candy**

Chocolate

**Are you a health freak?**

Quite, yes.

**First thing you notice in another person**

Whether they wear an open or closed facial expression.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

I'd love to wear the shoes of Oprah Winfrey. But I don't think I'd survive more than a day in them.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman, I suppose. But only because his name has an optimistic ring to it.

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness.

**Do you believe in God?**

Yes, I do.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Besides talking to myself and my cat? I once allowed my baby sister to cut my hair...

**Would you like to get married?**

That depends on the husband to be.

**Do you have a pet?**

I do have a cat back on Earth, but I haven't seen her in months.

**Biggest ambition**

I would love to find out how the Wraith's mind work.

**Best friend**

I have many good friends.

**Last body part you injured**

I can't quite remember.

**Favorite book**

Chocolate. There is, in fact, a book called Chocolate. I am not rambling about the addictive brown sweetness again.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

No, I am not and I have never been. I just told you I wanted to become one when I was a girl.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

I most certainly don't. Some shamelessly confront people with their inner troubles, while others remind them of their good qualities.

**Have you showered recently?**

_Yes, _I have.

**Do you like to camp?**

No, I prefer hotels over tents.

**Crush on**

Don't have one.

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

I am going to send this list to Major Lorne.

**Anything to add?**

Major, besides the fact that I would love for you to answer these questions, I would also like to ask you a favor. See, I'm afraid Dr. Kavanagh doesn't have any social contacts on Atlantis at all, and we should do what we can to be an interacting group of people. Would you please be so kind as to send this message to him? I'd be very grateful to you. Enjoy the rest of your day, Major.

Dr. Heightmeyer

* * *

Next up: Evan Lorne, probably the loveliest Major in two galaxies. I love his character, and I hope I'll be able to do him justice!


	8. Lorne

**Title: **Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Disclaimer**: I don't even own the computer this story was written on – I certainly don't own anything Stargate related. Except for the Stargate in my cellar, of course…

**AN**: I can't thank you guys enough for the encouraging reviews. I practically bounce off my chair the moment I open my inbox. Alas, no chain mails – but I gotta say I love your wonderful messages better! Now, I give the floor to the 'fan favorite': Evan Lorne!

**Personality**

"Sir!" A young marine came to a halt in front of him, and gave him a stiff salute. "Kagan and De Boer have gotten into a fight, sir. It's pretty bad, sir. They are in the Mess Hall, sir."

Major Evan Lorne frowned, annoyed at the overuse of the word 'sir'. He then rattled off the sentence he was seriously starting to despise. "You should contact Colonel Sheppard about this incident. _He_ is your Commanding Officer." If someone were to wake him in the middle of the night and ask for his name, Evan was sure _that_ sentence would come out instead. With a forced smile at the marine, he stalked off.

Ever since becoming John Sheppard's second in command, marines came running to _Lorne_ with their problems and questions. The Major still wasn't quite sure whether they came to him because he was _that_ good, or because the Colonel was _that_ lousy an officer. He liked to believe the marines sought out his guidance because of the first reason.

Lorne entered his quarters, and immediately turned on his laptop out of habit. The Major wasn't expecting any mail, because he didn't have any missions planned for the next couple of days. Therefore, he was surprised to see a new message waiting for him, and even more so when he read the name of the sender: Kate Heightmeyer. A message from the psychologist usually spelt trouble. Either she thought _he_ had gone insane, or she thought one of his men had.

_Colonel Sheppard's _men, the Major quickly corrected himself.

When he was finished reading the message, things were fully cleared up for Evan Lorne. The instant shock was gone, though now replaced with disgust. He had to send a chain mail to Dr. Kavanagh, because the man needed friends? Why had the psychologist picked _him_ for the job? What if the scientist ended up _wanting_to be his friend? The Major liked to think of himself as sociable, but befriending Kavanagh was something he wasn't planning on anytime soon.

Shaking his head, Evan opened a new mail. He would get this over with as soon as possible and then – maybe – people would stop bothering him long enough for him to take a decent shower.

Maybe.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Evan Lorne  
**  
Where are you? **

Well, I finally made it to my quarters…

**What are you wearing? **

BDU's, a black T-shirt and green socks.  
**  
Eye color **

Blue/brownish… Or something.

**Hair color**

Brown

**Relatives **

Mother, sister, two nephews.

**Is there someone with you?**

That would be a gleeful no!

**Type your name with your elbow**

ewfqahbnb kloitrre

**Type your name with your foot**

I just got back from a mission and I'm tired. _Come on_.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

Yeah – please note that I did so with a parachute…

**Movie **

Mission Impossible I, II and III.

**TV-show **

House

**Song**

Breakdown _– Jack Johnson_

**What were you doing before you opened this**

I was _hoping_ to go take a shower. Still am, actually.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I had an alien piece of fruit that looked like a potato, but tasted like chicken.

**Favorite color**

Er – green?

**What are you listening to right now? **

The blissful sound of silence.

**Winter or summer?**

Winter

**Last thing you ate?**

A powerbar.

**Do you smoke?**

No

**What country would you like to visit? **

Someplace I've not been stationed yet.

**Favorite place**

The Gate Room – when it's not being invaded by evil aliens.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

I wanted to be an art teacher when I was little.

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

I don't _like_ them, but I don't mind them either.

**Biggest fear**

To get kissed by (a possessed) McKay. I don't know how Dr. Beckett dealt with it…

**Do you swear? **

Yes. Unfortunately, I do so only at inappropriate times.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

I once climbed Cheyenne Mountain… Oh come on – it says 'mountain' on the board outside. It counts!

**Attracted to**

Lalalalala. No, sorry - that's classified.

**What would you do if you only had one day left? **

Oof, I would – spend the day cursing and pacing circles… or something. Of course, I'd also say goodbye to my friends and loved ones... and less loved ones.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to a marine and I told him to go bother Colonel Sheppard.

**Can you sing? **

I have no idea.

**Can you dance? **

No  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

… Coffee.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No. Yes. Sometimes.

**Favorite candy **

A chocolate chip cookie

**Are you a health freak?**

Read the answer to the previous question and draw your own conclusions.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

I don't know. Depends on who it is.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Colonel Sheppard's. It would be _nice_ to be left alone by marines for a change. I am not a cynic, I swear.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman

**Money or happiness? **

Can I go with both?

**Do you believe in God?**

I thought I did until I got this message…

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Taking down a _tree_ in an attempt to take down a Wraith Dart.

**Would you like to get married?**

To whom?

**Do you have a pet?**

No

**Biggest ambition**

To stay alive - and take a shower.

**Best friend**

Major Leonard. **  
****  
****Last body part you injured **

Errr... I really don't remember. Maybe it was my head?

**Favorite book **

Harry Potter. No wait, War of the Worlds. And I like that movie too.

**Are you afraid of the dentist? **

I'm not going to answer this one.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

Er- yes… no. I don't know. Yes.

**Have you showered recently?**

That's just plain evil. Not to mention mean.

**Do you like to camp?**

Yes. On a nice, safe campsite on Earth, where they have toilet buildings and _hot _water. _Not_ on an alien planet!

**Crush on**

Lalalalalalala. I give up. I can't even think of a witty denial anymore.

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

Dr. Kavanagh, because I like him so very much.

**Anything to add?**

Not really.

* * *

**Well, that was one cranky Lorne. I'm sorry, it just happ****ened. I hope I'm not scaring anyone away at the prospect of Kavanagh's chapter… **


	9. Kavanagh

**Title**: Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**Disclaimer**: I asked nicely. But they wouldn't give it to me...

**Personality**

Dr. Calvin Kavanagh was furious.

No, he wasn't just furious. He was practically fuming with rage.

How dare they? How dare they treat him the way they did? First, they didn't grant him the gratefulness he deserved. Second, they had the nerve to accuse him of being a Wraith spy. And _now_ they were trying to make fun of him by sending propostrious mail?

No. This was it. This was as much as a man could take.

Major Lorne was going to have cold water in his quarters for the rest of the _month. _And Kavanagh would make sure the lights in this darn city would never work again. The scientist would ruin every corridor himself, if that was what it took. Because he had _had_ it!

But they were not going to succeed.

No.

Calvin Kavanagh was going to answer this mail and they would see. They would see that he wasn't going to succumb to their humiliation, that he wasn't going to bow down for their idiotic ideas, and most importantly, that he was prepared to stand up for himself.

The mail had to be part of a complot…

Every member of the expedition was participating in a conspiracy against him. That meant scientists and soldiers were capable of working together, after all. Who would have thought… But the Doctor was not going to go down without a fight.

No.

Calvin Kavanagh was going to participate in this contest. And he was going to beat them all.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Dr. Calvin Kavanagh  
**  
Where are you?**

I am in _a_ lab. No, they didn't give me one of my own. McKay got his own lab_s_ – even Zelenka got his own freakin' lab. But me? Me, I got private quarters. Well_, thank the Lord!_

**What are you wearing?**

I am wearing your precious Atlantis uniform.

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Brown

**Relatives**

No

**Is there someone with you?**

No. I am here all by myself. You're probably all afraid I have a Goa'uld in my head - BOO! … Pathetic idiots.

**Type your name with your elbow**

What? _NO_!

**Type your name with your foot**

What if I refuse? Are you going to send the caveman after me again?

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

They both taste awful.

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

I'm going to pretend I didn't read this ridiculous question. You can't all be _that _stupid.

**Movie**

Back to the Future

**TV-show**

Myth Busters

**Song**

They don't care about us _- Michael Jackson_

**What were you doing before you opened this**

I just finished fixing one of your transporters, you ungrateful excuses of humanity.

**Coffee or tea?**

_Coffee! _Geez.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Cheap military food. How I managed to stuff it down my throat is beyond me…

**Favorite color**

I don't freakin' care about colors.

**What are you listening to right now?**

To nothing, because there is _no one_ here.

**Winter or summer?**

Autumn

**Last thing you ate?**

Meatloaf

**Do you smoke?**

No, because it's _forbidden._ The health freaks are taking over. And Weir is up front.

**What country would you like to visit?**

I don't do vacations.

**Favorite place**

Don't have one.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

A _respected _scientist.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

_No _

**Biggest fear**

Getting killed by the caveman again.

**Do you swear?**

Yes!

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

_No _

**Attracted to**

Certainly none of you people!

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

Excuse me – this question should be rephrased into 'what will you do _when_ you only have one day left', because this city will soon go down with Weir at the helm. So in answer to the question: ovviously, I'd spend my last minutes answering stupid questions.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Sheppard, and I told him that I was _not_ going to cut my hair.

**Can you sing?**

No

**Can you dance?**

_No_

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Coffee!

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No, because coffee is good. Coffee is _heavenly_. Ruining its essence should be forbidden.

**Favorite candy**

I dislike sweetness.

**Are you a health freak?**

No

**First thing you notice in another person**

I don't care about other persons.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

I desperately want to stand in the shoes of a Wraith. It should be nice to be part of an organized group for once. And my hair wouldn't stand out among my colleagues.

**Batman or Superman?**

Batman

**Money or happiness?**

Money

**Do you believe in God?**

No

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Joining this expedition.

**Would you like to get married?**

No

**Do you have a pet?**

No

**Biggest ambition**

To get out of this galaxy alive.

**Best friend**

I don't _have_ friends. **  
****  
****Last body part you injured**

Ask the caveman. He should know.

**Favorite book**

I don't read for entertainment.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

No

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

_YES!_

**Have you showered recently?**

What? Of course I have.

**Do you like to camp?**

No

**Crush on**

No freakin' one!

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

Dr. Zelenka

**Anything to add?**

You all had a good laugh? I'm so glad for you all. Now, I'll show you what _is_ funny: confronting a Czech with your craziness. Don't ever bother me again.

* * *

Thanks for reading this chapter. Contrary to what you may think, I actually like Kavanagh's character, but... this chapter rolled out anyway.


	10. Zelenka

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own – you know what, sue me? **

**AN: **Wow- over a hundred reviews… You guys rock! Thanks, I hope you'll all like Zelenka's chapter, too. I don't have a beta – but the mistakes in this chapter aren't my own. They're Zelenka's, and they were made on purpose.

**Personality**

"You know what? No. Just no. Get out of here!"

"Rodney…"

"Get. Out."

"Ah, but-"

"Shut up! Just shut up. Even _you_ should be able to understand the meaning of those two words, you - you… you Czech."

Radek Zelenka hurriedly walked out of one of the most feared labs of Atlantis. Only the lab where the alien nano-virus had been discovered scored more points on the list of less favorite places to go.

Dr. Zelenka quickened his pace. The project he'd been working on wasn't even his. It was Rodney's, and why bother helping the man if he didn't want any help? There wasn't even a point in trying. None. The Canadian scientist was impossible.

Shaking his head at McKay's stubbornness, the scientist walked into his own lab, which was, unfortunately, right across the hallway. On good days, he had to listen to Rodney's happy exclamations, and on bad days, there was no blocking out the man's tirades and swearing sessions. Radek learned to live with the sounds a long time ago. It was the only way to stay sane.

The Czech opened his laptop, and started going over the mathematical theory Dr. Kusanagi sent him three days before. He didn't have the time to read her work at the time, but it looked like Radek now had the afternoon off. The Doctor wasn't going to keep trying to get through to Rodney, because that was a complete waste of energy.

There! He'd finally gotten to the point where he allowed himself to think that way.

"You should check your mail," said a voice from across the room.

Startled, Radek looked up from what he was doing. "Par- pardon me?"

Dr. Kavanagh impatiently gestured at the laptop Zelenka was working on. "Your mail," he stated, before he turned around and left the lab, his ponytail swinging violently from side to side. Radek stared after him.

Once he regained the ability to think straight again, the scientist opened his inbox. He was dumbfounded to see a message from Dr. Kavanagh waiting for him. But when he thought about it, it actually made sense. Why else would the pony-tailed man tell him to check his mail?

Dr. Zelenka quickly scanned through the mail, his eyes growing a little wider with each sentence. He couldn't believe Dr. Kavanagh had sent the message to him, Dr. Radek Zelenka. The Czech thought it was a rather thoughtful gesture. He never suspected Dr. Kavanagh was capable of being nice.

Radek considered sending the mail to Rodney. It would annoy the Canadian, and Zelenka was feeling rather mutinous, after Rodney just threw him out of his lab.

Suddenly, another idea entered the Doctor's mind. He looked up at the ceiling in thought. There was another person he wanted to contact; another person he was dying to get an answer from… Making up his mind, Radek opened a new message. He was going to send the message to _her_.

Because he could.

And because he would.

_And_ because he…

Incapable of coming up with another word that rhymed with _could_, the Czech began to type.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Radek Zelenka

**Where are you? **

In lab.

**What are you wearing?**

Erm… clothes?

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Brown

**Relatives **

Brother

**Is there someone with you?**

No. I am alone.

**Type your name with your elbow**

reaqesdeikjo z\elkejhkjiqaw

**Type your name with your foot**

Er - okay… tredasw\rekj rekloewkjias

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

No, no. No.

**Movie**

The Lord of the Rings.

**TV-show**

Startrek Enterprise

**Song**

Let it be _- the Beatles__**  
**_**  
What were you doing before you opened this **

Reading mathematical theory. _A_. I mean… Reading _a_ mathematical theory.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

A piece of toast, because McKay already ate all of the eggs.

**Favorite color**

Er -… er… Blue?

**What are you listening to right now?**

To nothingness. That a word?

**Winter or summer?**

Summer

**Last thing you ate?**

A piece of toast.

**Do you smoke?**

No! No, I don't. No.

**What country would you like to visit? **

Er… France?

**Favorite place**

The… er… I don't know.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

Professional chess player. Well… I _wanted_ to. Not anymore.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

No!

**Biggest fear**

To go off world… Brr.

**Do you swear? **

In Czech, and then no one understands… he he.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

No, I haven't.

**Attracted to**

Oh, ah… um.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

What? I would… er, contact family on Earth?

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

To Dr. Kavanagh, and I said… I said: "Pardon me?"

**Can you sing? **

No, I can't. No.

**Can you dance? **

No! No, absolutely not, no!

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Coffee

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No. Coffee with milk isn't nice.

**Favorite candy**

Cookies!

**Are you a health freak?**

No… I don't think so. I think.

**First thing you notice in another person**

Oh! Their… ah ah… Hum.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

I did not just think of McKay. I did not.

**Batman or Superman?**

Batman

**Money or happiness?**

Money. I am not greedy - just… a little poor.

**Do you believe in God?**

Yes… a bit.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Signing up for working under McKay. But I have own apartment now!

**Would you like to get married?**

Er - yes? Maybe. Yes.

**Do you have a pet?**

No, no… I'm allergic to - animals.

**Biggest ambition**

To… meet with an Ancient? I don't know.

**Best friend**

Just… I… R- Rodne- Dr McKay! **  
****  
****Last body part you injured **

My… back. I have a very sensitive back, yes?

**Favorite book**

Harry Potter.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Yes!

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

Yes! No… I don't know. A bit? Pointless?

**Have you showered recently?**

Er

**Do you like to camp?**

No, no! No! I spent my childhood in a tent, no - no! Never again! No!

**Crush on**

No one… maybe a bit on… er - Dr Weir?

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

To… Lt. Cadman…?

**Anything to add?**

Hello! I - I am sorry to disturb you, Lt. Cadman… It's just that… How is McKay on the inside? As annoying as on the out? I am terribly sorry for bothering you… And I really want to know. Please respond, yes?

Dr. Radek Zelenka

* * *

**Thanks for reading this chapter. Next up will be Laura's. **


	11. Cadman

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Disclaimer: **I own everything. Sue me.

**AN: **Thank you for the wonderful reviews. You guys are great!

**Personality**

Laura Cadman was a woman with a mission.

Today, she would get Carson Beckett to go out with her. Laura didn't care if that meant cooking for the doctor or stuffing artificial food down his throat through a feeding tube. She and Carson were having dinner tonight. Together.

The Lieutenant knew the poor guy was still having a hard time blocking out the memory of their first kiss, but she was more than ready to give what should have been the most romantic moment in their relationship another go. Laura was having none of the doctor's protests anymore. She liked him and he liked her. They shouldn't waste their time circling each other. Not while a Wraith Hive was on its way to Atlantis.

Laura was well aware of the fact that every inhabitant of the city could die in little under a week. She sure as hell wasn't going to go down without having been on a proper date with the Scottish doctor. She knew she'd regret it for all eternity if she didn't go out with him at least once. Provided, of course, she'd still be able to reflect on her life after certain death.

Now all she had to do was ask the charming doctor… That wasn't going to be a problem.

Laura Cadman smiled. She could be pretty persuasive if she wanted to be.

oOo

It was a date, an official date!

Laura managed to refrain from bouncing off her chair, and opened her mailbox instead. She was going to send all her friends a message to let them know she'd finally taken the next step.

The Lieutenant was surprised to see she'd received a message from Dr. Zelenka. Maybe he'd finally decided to reply to the mail in which she'd requested he teach her Czech.

Curious to see what the scientist had to say, Laura opened his mail. She hadn't even finished reading the first sentence when her eyes lit up. She _adored _chain mail. Well – she didn't exactly adore reading Zelenka's answers, but she loved answering the questions herself.

The blonde didn't bother to read the rest of the message. Instead, she pasted the text into a new mail and deleted the answer to the first question. _Oh come on_, she told the protesting little voice in the back of her mind. _He doesn't even know you. He won't be upset._

Delighted at this opportunity to express her excited feelings, Laura started to type.

She hoped the 'crush question' would pop up.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Laura Cadman

**Where are you?**

I brought my laptop with me to the Mess, and I'm currently sitting behind a giant piece of chocolate cake.

**What are you wearing? **

Jeans, a green shirt and white shoes. No uniform for me today, I have the day off :-)

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Blond

**Relatives **

My parents, my uncle and aunt, two nephews and my little niece. Oh, and my cat ;-)

**Is there someone with you?**

Well – there are always people in the Mess, so yeah. Do I have to enlist every single person? No? Well, I want to ;-) I see McKay (accompanied by his third tray since I got here), Houston, Jansen, Kusanagi, Leonard, Olsen, Hopkins and Fabrizio. Lunch time's over, so I'm guessing these people have the day off as well. I feel _so_ connected with them, lol.

**Type your name with your elbow**

klasjjrfda c azdcmn anb

**Type your name with your foot**

Hello? Public place!

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate!

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

Yeah, twice.

**Movie**

Titanic

**TV-show**

Prison Break

**Song**

I wanna talk about me _–Toby Keith_

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

I just convinced Carson to go on a date with me over the city-wide intercom.

**Coffee or tea?**

Tea

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I had a bowl of yoghurt with citrus fruit. You should have seen McKay when I sat down next to him. I didn't know his legs were capable of running _that_ fast, and I've run with them, too, so I thought I had a pretty good idea…

**Favorite color**

Blue

**What are you listening to right now?**

I'm eavesdropping on a conversation between two scientists who are discussing the dimples on Dr. Kavanagh's chin…

**Winter or summer?**

Winter. I love skiing and snowboarding! And coldness provides you with a decent excuse to drink hot chocolate.

**Last thing you ate?**

Chocolate cake.

**Do you smoke?**

Nope

**What country would you like to visit? **

I'd love to go to Scottland. Wanna know why? Well, take a wild guess…

**Favorite place**

Why, the inside of Rodney's body, of course. Yikes, that didn't come out as intended.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

I solemnly promise I will never grow up. All right, er… I guess I knew I wanted to join the military ever since I was a little girl.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

Yeah. When I was little, I was allowed to crawl into my parents' bed when it started thundering ;-)

**Biggest fear**

Spiders. I'm also afraid to die, or see a loved one die. Well… it would also suck to have them die without my witnessing it. Oh, and I also never want to get trapped in McKay's body again!

**Do you swear? **

Hell yeah. OK, that was _so_ not funny… (facepalm)

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Yeah, I have.

**Attracted to**

Carson Beckett. Finally! I was wondering when this question would pop up.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I don't want to think about what I'd do. Dying sucks. I am _so_ not gonna go there.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Carson, and I told him to bring chocolate. I also told him that if he doesn't, there won't be any tralalala tonight.

**Can you sing? **

Yeah, I've had lessons back on Earth.

**Can you dance? **

Yup. Tap-dancing's my speciality.

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Hot chocolate. Because of its chocolateness.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Yes, because coffee's disgusting and whipped cream is delicious. The two of them thrown together make for a bearable combo…  
**  
Favorite candy **

I'm addicted to sugar in general, so how do I choose? Well, if I only got to bring _one_ item to a deserted island, I think I'd go with a bar of chocolate. Or twenty.

**Are you a health freak?**

Well – I do work out a lot, and I go for a run every evening… But I eat candy like there's no tomorrow - so… I don't know. Maybe I'm a little bit freaky?

**First thing you notice in another person**

Their eyes. It used to be their clothing, but everyone on this base wears the same uniform, so I stopped checking out clothes a long time ago.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

McKay's! I would _love _to find out what it's like to be in his shoes… (facepalm)

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness… And a rich husband. Just kidding ;-)

**Do you believe in God?**

No, I don't.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Entering a Wraith dart as myself – and coming out as Rodney McKay.

**Would you like to get married?**

Carson and I aren't quite there yet… But I'd love to, yes!

**Do you have a pet?**

Yup, the cat I mentioned earlier.

**Biggest ambition**

To lick my elbow. Seriously. They say it's impossible, but I don't buy that.

**Best friend**

Katie Brown **  
****  
****Last body part you injured **

My right foot. Volleyball training didn't go so well last week.

**Favorite book**

Bridget Jones's Diary

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Nope

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

No, I like them.

**Have you showered recently?**

Hello? Woman here!

**Do you like to camp?**

Yes. I've done some survival training, so I'm used to harsh conditions. I think camping's fun, especially when campfires are involved.

**Crush on**

A certain Scottish doctor. Did I just spoil a secret?

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

Chuck Campbell, because he's Canadian. Don't start nagging about logic, because I'm not capable of thinking logically.

**Anything to add?**

I AM GOING ON A DATE WITH CARSON BECKETT TONIGHT! TRY AND STOP ME, PEOPLE.


	12. Chuck

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Disclaimer: **If only I owned the series…

**AN: **Hey! I hope everyone's interested in the background characters, because I've run out of main characters. Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

**Personality**

There were three reasons why Chuck Campbell loved being the Gate technician. **A.** He got to handle the DHD, and Chuck loved sparkly buttons. **B.** He got to say: 'Chevron 1 encoded', which made him sound very cool, and **C.** He was able to tap into every single conversation over the radio, private talk included.

Yep, Chuck Campbell loved his job.

But he had to admit that sometimes, he felt like an outsider among the people on Atlantis. The Canadian thought he knew everyone in this city, but no one seemed to actually know him, Chuck. Granted, he was the definition of the word wallpaper; he sat in the background all day long, only drawing attention towards himself when wearing shiny colors. Chuck never tried to engage in small-talk or joke, he was very easy to overlook. Still, it didn't feel right to be taken for granted.

It was for that reason Chuck was happily surprised when he saw Lieutenant Cadman had sent him a mail. Reading that she'd sent him the message because of his nationality didn't do wonders for his self-esteem, but the Canadian wasn't about to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

Chuck Campbell had received a mail.

_Maybe_, the technician thought, _she knows just how many private conversations I overhear on a daily basis, and wants to tap into all that knowledge… _

Shoving his suspicions aside, Chuck opened a new message. He should be glad somebody finally remembered he was a member of this expedition, too. If he started doubting people's genuineness for no good reason, he might as well christen himself Bates and be done with it.

As stated before, Chuck Campbell had received a mail. Today was the beginning of a new era.

With an excited smile, he began to type.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Chuck Campbell

**Where are you?**

In my usual spot behind the DHD.

**What are you wearing? **

My standard uniform. As usual.  
**  
Eye color**

Brown

**Hair color**

Brown - with a little bit of grey mixed into it.

**Relatives **

One sister

**Is there someone with you?**

People are always swarming the Gate Room. But even though I have nothing else to do at the moment, I am not going to sum them all up.

**Type your name with your elbow**

Chuck Camnpbvell [looks pretty good, right? I get a lot of practice on the DHD…]

**Type your name with your foot**

Er - no! That's _not_ exactly what I have in mind when I thought about drawing attention to myself.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Vanilla

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

No, I haven't - and I probably never will.

**Movie**

Ghostbusters

**TV-show**

The X-files

**Song**

Depend on me _– Bryan Adams_

**What were you doing before you opened this****?**

I just dialled PMX-175 to check in on Major Lorne's team. No one's tried to kill them yet.  
**  
Coffee or tea? **

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I skipped breakfast this morning, because I was on duty. Again. I always get the night shifts. _And_ the day shifts. Maybe I should talk to Dr. Weir about hiring a second Gate technician...

**Favorite color**

Green

**What are you listening to right now?**

I'm listening to people talking and the beeping of my console. You get used to the beeping after a while. Voices are harder to block out, because they're less constant.

**Winter or summer?**

Winter

**Last thing you ate?**

Er… I don't remember.

**Do you smoke?**

No

**What country would you like to visit? **

I'd like to go to Italy.

**Favorite place**

Er - the dimly lit corridor on the third level of the Main Tower. It's my association with freedom. The door to my quarters is in that corridor, and I go to my quarters when I'm off duty – which sometimes happens twice a week.

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

I always wanted to be a professional ice hockey player, but they said I wasn't good enough.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

No, I was once almost struck by lightening.

**Biggest fear**

Mice

**Do you swear? **

Generally, I don't.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Well - I grew up in North Canada, so… yeah.

**Attracted to**

Teyla Emmagan, because… I have eyes.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I would ask someone to read my funeral speech.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Dr. Weir and I told her that the Wraith Hive Ship is only one day out. Sometimes I feel exactly like the bearer of bad news in a hospital.

**Can you sing? **

Yes

**Can you dance? **

No

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Coffee

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

No, I don't.

**Favorite candy**

Marshmallows

**Are you a health freak?**

Er… I don't think so.

**First thing you notice in another person**

People usually have their back turned towards me, so… yeah. Their back.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Er... I don't know… Maybe McKay's? It would be nice to be noticed for once…

**Batman or Superman? **

Superman

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness

**Do you believe in God?**

Er…

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Getting a tattoo on my calf. **A.** I don't even like tattoos, and **B.** Leave it to me to find a place where no one can see it. Hm… maybe that's not such a bad thing, actually...

**Would you like to get married?**

Yeah, I think I'd like that.

**Do you have a pet?**

I have twelve cats back on Earth. My neighbour looks after them.

**Biggest ambition**

To get 20 followers on Twitter.

**Best friend**

Dickenson, I think. **  
****  
****Last body part you injured **

I never injure myself. The only thing I do is sit around all day. I'd have to fall off my chair, or get accidentally electrified, or something.

**Favorite book**

The picture of Dorian Grey

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

No, not really.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

I think they're a bit odd. And they make me say 'er' a lot.

**Have you showered recently?**

As much as I'd love to say 'yes' - I have to confess it's been three days since my last shower. I really must talk to Dr. Weir about hiring a second Gate Technician.

**Do you like to camp?**

Yeah, my father used to take me camping when I was little.

**Crush on**

Teyla Emmagan, I think?

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

Lindsey Novak

**Anything to add?**

Hi Lindsey,  
You probably recognized this message as chain mail. I thought it'd be nice if the Daedalus crew got a chance to play along. So, er - have fun.

Yeah...

Chuck Campbell; the Gate technician (in case you were wondering…)

* * *

**Thanks for reading the t****welfth part in this series. I hope you all liked Chuck's chapter. Oh - and in case anyone is wondering: Lindsey Novak is the woman on the Daedalus who hiccups twice a minute. You must have noticed her ;-) If not, go watch Critical Mass again. Actually, go do that anyway. It's a great episode. **


	13. Novak

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the series. Imagine my disappointment.

**AN: **I am so sorry for the long delay; I can only hope some people remember this story exists.

**Personality**

Lindsay Novak didn't usually go to her quarters during the day, but she'd had a long shift last night and she was exhausted. The crew of the Daedalus had been through a lot lately. They'd had to chase down two Wraith Ships, and were deprived of oxygen shortly after. Everyone on board was still a bit on edge.

Even though life was as normal as it got at the moment, Lindsay knew better than to sit back and enjoy the quietness, because bad things _would_ be happening again soon. Of that she was sure. She'd been doing this job long enough now to know that fights were fought on a daily basis. It wouldn't be long before the next battle took place. With that thought in mind, she hadn't been able to get any sleep over the past few days.

It was frustrating to know that she desperately needed to sleep, but not be able to at the same time. There were just too many things on her mind right now. Beside her tired expression, there was another reason why her co-workers had told her to go to her quarters instead of the cafeteria. She'd hiccupped a lot these past few days and she knew she was starting to get on her colleague's nerves. Lindsey was too tired to take offence to the not so subtle hint to go to her quarters. But before she tried to get some rest, she would check her mail. It was something she hadn't done in weeks.

Not really expecting any new messages, Lindsay was surprised to see a message from a certain Mr. Campbell waiting for her. Her jaw dropped when she opened the message. Chain mail often contained viruses. What if another virus took over the Daedalus and sent the ship crashing into the nearest moon? Biting her lip, she looked at the notes at the bottom of the page. Lindsey knew what was expected of her, but she wasn't sure anyone was interested in reading her interests.

Lindsay took a deep breath. She did have some time to spare right now, and it wasn't like she had anything else to do. Maybe answering the questions would help her get her mind straight. At the very least, filling in answers would take her mind off memories that had been haunting her for some time now. They involved almost suffocating and getting shot at by Wraith Hives.

She had no idea whom to send the mail to, but she figured she'd think of someone along the way. It couldn't be hard. After all, there where more people trapped on the ship with nothing but time on their hands, and some of them would be delighted to receive chain mail.

Lindsay even felt grateful to Mr. Campbell as she opened a new message and pasted his text into it. It was time to start thinking about other things than certain death.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Lindsay Novak

**Where are you?**

Well, for one, I am sitting behind my laptop, but if I have to be more exact, I'd say I'm in my private quarters aboard the Daedalus, Earth's newest battleship. It's my time off, of course, or I would not be sitting here. You see, I always work very hard, and I would never go to my quarters during my shift. To think that Colonel Caldwell would suspect me of being lazy - I'm sorry, I tend to get a little carried away sometimes, and when I get carried away, I get nervous, and when I get nervous, I hiccup. It's very annoying and - I'll just stop now.

**What are you wearing?**

My uniform, the one I've been told to wear. I don't know if I'm allowed to wear something else when I'm off duty, so I wear it all the time, just to be on the safe side. I sleep in it, too, because there could be an emergency in the middle of the night, and I'd like to be fully prepared when that happens. I'm always prepared for the worst case scenario, so there you go... I always wear my uniform.  
**  
****Eye color**

Brown, well... yeah, I think it's brown.

**Hair color**

Brown... Yes, I'm positive it's brown, though it should have turned grey a long time ago, I suppose... har har. Oh. Eh... yeah.

**Relatives **

I'm an only child.

**Is there someone with you?**

There's no one in this room with me at the moment, no, though you can never be sure, of course. All too well I remember the Wraith virus that moved through the Daedalus' systems last year, I never rule anything out, though I don't think it would be watching me, seeing as I'm not the most important person on this ship. I think it would be watching Colonel Caldwell, or it would try to ruin our systems, or- I think I'm rambling.

**Type your name with your elbow**

op89jrewqt5 nbkijgfredyuh

**Type your name with your foot**

I can't do that. If Colonel Caldwell sees me dancing on a computer, I am going to be fired and as stressing as this job gets sometimes, I don't think I could live with being fired over something stupid like _dancing on a computer_. Have people actually done this? I hope I'm not the only one who's refused, because I don't want to break with traditions- only one person is going to read this, right? And I can choose whom I send this to? Or have I missed something?

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Vanilla

**Have you ever jumped off a plane?**

No. My God, I'd rather die. Actually, I think I'd die _if_ I jumped off a plane. My heart couldn't possible handle the excitement.

**Movie**

The sound of music, but I never watch the part after the wedding, because I find it too sad.

**TV-show**

I don't watch TV, frankly, I don't have the time.

**Song**

Relax, take it easy - _Mika _

**What were you doing before you opened this**

I was - pacing my quarters.  
**  
****Coffee or tea? **

Tea

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Breakfast? I think it's about time for breakfast right now, but dear God, I don't think I'd keep anything down. I've been throwing up for days now, I still haven't dealt with our most recent fight against the Wraith.

**Favorite color**

Green, people say it's a relaxing color and I take their word for it, though I'm not so sure about the statement myself.

**What are you listening to right now?**

All right, let me take a deep breath. What am I listening to? To nothing, I think. Yeah, I'm not hearing anything, which means I am listening to nothing. Is that even possible? Isn't silence a sound, too? I think I'm going to look that up on Wikipedia when I get back.

**Winter or summer?**

Winter, I get all worked-up when it's hot outside. I tend to get red-faced too. And a bit glassy-eyed sometimes.

**Last thing you ate?**

Meatloaf. You know, I might not have thrown up because of stress.... It could have had something to do with the food as well.

**Do you smoke?**

No, dear God - no. I'd be coughing all the time and I don't even want to know what the long-term effects of coughing and hiccuping at the same time would be.

**What country would you like to visit? **

A country with a nice beach, but it can't be too hot, of course, because then I'd get red-faced and glassy-eyed. Well, I would _sometimes _get glassy-eyed, because I don't always - wait. I've been over this already. Let me see... no, I absolutely have no idea.

**Favorite place**

My couch back home. The green one, with the soft pillows...

**What do you want to be when you are grown up?**

Well, I don't know if I wanted to become what I am now, but if I did, I obviously didn't know about the downsides of the job. Right now, I'd love to own a farm and take things easy for a little while... But I'm fairly sure I'm deathly allergic to cows, so there will be no buying a farm anytime soon...

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

No, God, no. I almost died of a heart attack once, while it was thundering outside. Dear God, thunderstorms give me the creeps, I most certainly don't like them. Why would you ask me this question? Don't tell me some people actually _like_ thunderstorms. Do they?

**Biggest fear**

To get caught at something I didn't do, or did do. Anyway, getting caught would be terrible. The shame, the punishment, all the things that come with it. Of course, I fear a lot of other things as well, but I was hoping that answering these questions would make me feel happier and therefore, I am not going to type them all down. Oh, it also says 'biggest fear' on top of this, and that means I only have to fill in my biggest fear, right?

**Do you swear? **

I don't think so, though I tend to lose track of my words when I'm nervous.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

No, no, no, I have not, and I really shouldn't, for obvious reasons, and less obvious reasons.

**Attracted to**

Is this some sort of set-up? Because I'm in the military and there's protocol, and all that... I don't think I'm going to answer this question. You can never be sure, of course.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I'd get nervous and hiccup - well, the same as usual, I guess.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Dr. Harolds and he told me to go to my quarters to ease up a little and have some sleep. I, in return, thanked him for his suggestion. I only hiccuped twice during the process.

**Can you sing? **

I probably can't, though I've never given it a try. I'm not too sure about my voice... or anything at all.

**Can you dance? **

No, I don't think so, I'm too tense up for that. Yoga doesn't help, meditation doesn't help... It's just the way that it is, I suppose.

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Hot chocolate. I get all worked up when I start drinking caffeine. Actually, the last time I drank coffee, I couldn't stop hyperventilating till they gave me a sedative and three sleeping pills.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream? **

No. I'd think that that's a given, seeing as I don't drink coffee.

**Favorite candy**

Bubblegum. It gives me something to do when I'm nervous. And I get nervous a lot. When there are a lot of people around, for example, or when I have to give a presentation about something I know nothing - or a lot - about.

**Are you a health freak?**

Not really, no. I don't think so... I don't eat a lot, but I also don't exercise or work out a lot, so... I think that evens things out.

**First thing you notice in another person**

Their shoes. I tend to drop my gaze when I meet new people.

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Doctor Elizabeth Weir's. That woman must have the toughest job in two galaxy, and she's incredibly good at what she does. On top of that, she's gentle and calm, and I really admire her for that. I wish I could be more like her.

**Batman or Superman? **

Superman. His name sounds less scary. Well, less _bad_, anyway.

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness

**Do you believe in God?**

Yes, I do, If I don't have things to believe in, I'll go crazy. The thought of someone looking after me is really reassuring.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

I actually called Dr. Weir 'sir' once. I was just so very, _very _nervous that day. Dear God, she must think I'm an idiot.

**Would you like to get married?**

Oh, I don't know. I don't want to be alone, yet the thought of being tied to someone scares me, too. I think I need some time to consider what I really want. Am I taking these questions too seriously? Some of them are really tough, you know, and some answers take a lot of time to come up with.

**Do you have a pet?**

No, I'm allergic to most animals.

**Biggest ambition**

To get over my nervousness one day, because I'd very much like to be a stewardess, and only calm people get hired for that job, so...

**Best friend**

Major Marks, I suppose. We talk a lot, and I actually feel _at ease _around him.

**Last body part you injured **

I crashed into a wall during our last battle against the Wraith. My shoulder's still a bit sore, but I've been worse. I think. It's just a very annoying feeling, and I can't sleep on my right side anymore, which is really very sad, because that's my favorite sleeping position.

**Favorite book**

"Easy breathing"

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Oh yes, yeah - I most certainly am. I've purposely missed a lot of appointments, but I have every reason to be afraid of the man. I hope a lot of people are with me on this point. Seriously, there are more people who have issues with the dentist, right? This question wasn't added because of me, was it?

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

Some of them, yes. But a lot of them make me think about my life, and I suppose that's a good thing, though there are some aspects of my life I'd rather not think about, and thinking about them is actually quite upsetting. But that doesn't mean I find every offending, or rather _confronting _question dumb. Hm. I think I need some time to consider this question.

**Have you showered recently?**

I last showered two days ago. Does that count as 'recently'. I think it does. Or at least, I hope it does. I didn't get sent to my quarters because I smell bad, right? Is it bad to doubt your co-workers? Hm... No, I don't think they've sent me away because of the way I smell. I think...

**Do you like to camp?**

No, I don't like to camp. I don't like bugs and insects, and somehow, it always rains when I go camping. I've given up on it a long time ago, and really, the world is better off this way.

**Crush on**

I think I skipped this question once already. Oh, wait... the previous one was a bit different. But the idea's basically the same and because of that, my answer is going to be the same, too. I think I have a valid point here.

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

I am going to send this list to... Colonel Caldwell. Don't ask me why. Wait, he is going to read this mail, right? Yes, all right, I'll not be adding anything else to this question, then. I might end up offending him and that would be terrible, because I always try to please my bosses. Dear God, that sounded wrong, and _not_ as intended.

**Anything to add?**

I don't think so... No, I don't. I'm quite sure I don't. So... yeah, this is it, I suppose. Right... okay. Bye. Oh, wait... Hello, Colonel. I hope I'm not bothering you. I'm sure I'm not. Well, almost completely sure. I think.


	14. Caldwell

**Title: **Personality

**Author: **Jammeke

**Disclaimer: **Don't own, don't sue.

**Personality**

Colonel Caldwell was sure he'd fallen asleep on the job. This was something to be ashamed of, of course, but it was the only logical explanation for what was happening. Well, it was either that, or Earth had been taken over by aliens and they were trying to obtain informarion from him by sending him chain mail. This possibility alone was a good reason not to answer the questions. No, there was just no way that the people he worked with every day had invested their time in a message such as this.

Of course, knowing that the mail had come from Novak, and knowing that the good woman had likely received the mail from someone on Atlantis, there was another explanation too, namely that Lt. Colonel Sheppard was behind all this. To be honest, Steven had to confess this explanation seemed a lot more reasonable, but it was just as stupid nonetheless. He'd always known that Sheppard was too immature to be the military commander of Atlantis, and this mail did an excellent job at proving his point once again.

Still, a part of Caldwell had come to like the cocky pilot. Tempting though it might be to ask the younger Colonel for clarification, Steven knew the mail wasn't a threat to anyone, and much as he disliked spam such as this, he couldn't blame Sheppard for trying to cheer his people up. It was obvious things on Atlantis didn't go the way Caldwell would have them go, but he'd accepted this a long time ago.

Besides, the Colonel knew that demanding Sheppard be fired because of a mail was out of the question. For one, he couldn't prove the message was Sheppard's, and there was also the fact that you didn't get kicked out of the Air Force for sending people spam. No, the Colonel knew he had no valid arguments to back up his statement. And if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't even want Sheppard to get fired anymore. One year ago, it had been the number one thing on his wish list, but since then, he'd come to better understand Sheppard's actions and motives, and he suspected he might just start respecting the pilot any day now.

For a moment, Steven considered deleting the message, after which he could pretend he'd never received the mail in the first place. But a small voice in the back of his head firmly decided against it. Who knew how many people this mail had been sent to already, and why should Caldwell be the one to break with tradition? That would be low; even for him. He'd send the damn mail to someone else, and the whole situation would be over with.

Pleased with his decision, Caldwell copied Novak's text into a new message. He didn't bother to read her answers before he deleted them. With a little luck, he'd be done before lunchtime.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Colonel Steven Caldwell  
**  
Where are you? **

I am in my office.

**What are you wearing? **

My uniform.

**Eye color**

Brown

**Hair color**

… Cute

**Relatives **

No

**Is there someone with you?**

No

**Type your name with your elbow**

Not a chance.

**Type your name with your foot**

My answer stands.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Vanilla

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

Yes, I have.

**Movie **

The Godfather

**TV-show**

The X-files

**Song**

Like a soldier - _Johnny Cash _

**What do you do for a living? **

I blow up space ships.

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was going over a _classified_ report.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

French toast  
**  
Favorite color **

Blue

**What are you listening to right now? **

I'm not listening to anything at the moment.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Winter

**Last thing you ate?**

French toast

**Do you smoke?**

No

**Which country would you like to visit? **

Ireland  
**  
Favorite place **

My command chair when we take off into space. The view is simply amazing.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

Funny

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

I can honestly say I've never considered this question, and I'm not about to start now.

**Biggest fear **

To get compromised.

**Do you swear? **

Occasionally  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

I have.  
**  
Attracted to **

No comment.  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would visit an old friend of mine, and tell him I'm sorry we never got to overcome our disagreement.  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

That would be General Landry, and I told him it felt good to be back on Earth.

**Can you sing?**

I don't think you'd care.

**Can you dance?**

No  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Coffee

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No  
**  
Favorite candy **

Nougat  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

I try to keep in shape, yes.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

Their compliance.  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

I don't think it comes as a surprise that the answer to this question is Lt. Colonel Colonel Sheppard.

**Batman or Superman?**

Batman

**Money or happiness**

I don't believe in either of them.  
**  
Do you believe in God? **

Yes

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

I have made a lot of mistakes, most notably getting possessed by a Goa'uld.  
**  
Would you like to get married? **

I once did, but my opinion on the matter's changed.  
**  
Do you have a pet?**

No  
**  
Biggest ambition **

At this very moment, to wipe out every single Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy. Ask me again in a few weeks, when I've had the chance to let the Wraith's betrayal sink in.  
**  
Best friend **

Steve Morrison.  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

My knee.  
**  
Favorite book **

The hobbit

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

I can assure you I'm not.  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

I do.

**Have you showered recently? **

What if I said no? I have; by the way, I'm just trying to figure out why anyone would want to know.  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

I used to.

**Crush on **

No comment.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

General O'Neill, because he's the only person I can think of who'd appreciate a mail like this.

**Anything to add?**

Nothing comes to mind.


	15. O'Neill

**Title: **Personality  
**  
Author:** Jammeke

**AN: **Please note that we're now at the beginning of season 3 of Atlantis, and therefore, at the beginning of season 10 of SG-1. I've noticed that some people got confused about the time line. Thanks for the reviews, everyone.

**Personality **

There was one thing Jack O'Neill hated more than Tax Authorities, and it went by the name of _paperwork_. Goa'uld and Ori he could handle, the members of the IOA he could stand if they didn't talk to him... But paperwork he just couldn't deal with. Back when he he'd still been a member of SG-1, he'd thought writing mission reports was bad, but he knew better by now. Writing them wasn't so bad. _R__eading _them was a different matter entirely.

Sighing dramatically, Jack folded a paper airplane of the report he'd been staring at for the last couple of minutes. As far as he was concerned, making paper airplanes was much more fun than reading the folded papers, and if people started asking questions, all he had to do was _un_fold them. Besides, he was a General, and people didn't second-guess Generals, did they? Well, Jack had, when he'd still been a Colonel, but he'd been told repeatedly that he was an exception to just about every single rule. It was flattering, really.

He finished his creative piece of work and threw it across the room. The plane landed just beside the dustbin. Tough luck.

Determined to throw at least _one _piece of paper into the dustbin, Jack enthusiastically grabbed another file and started folding.

Ten minutes, and six reports later, he'd finally succeeded. Adams' report had done the trick, and Jack decided he would have to complement the Sergeant on a job well done. After all, his success had been partly thanks to the young man's outstanding report.

Jack stretched his arms above his head, and decided it was time for something else. Maybe Sam had sent him a new message. She made it a point to send him a message every six days. Granted, her last message had arrived four days ago, but you never knew...

Five minutes later, Jack was positive his eyebrows would never descend to their usual spot above his eyes again. This e-mail certainly proved he didn't knew Caldwell all that well. He'd come to respect the man, because you had to admire Steven's resolve and strength, but this mail made him appreciate the Colonel on a whole new level. On top of his brilliant command skills, the man appeared to have a good sense of humor, too. Even after everything Jack had been through, there were still things that managed to amaze him.

With a grin, the General started typing. This was going to be fun.

On top of that, the mail provided him with yet another excuse not to read those damn reports.

* * *

**What is your name?**

Jack  
**  
****Where are you? **

I'm on a planet called Earth

**What are you wearing? **

An amused expression. And clothes.

**Eye color**

Brown

**Hair color**

Brown, grey, white, pick one...

**Relatives **

Not anymore...

**Is there someone with you?**

A bunch of mission reports. I swear those things are alive - they were flying through my office!

**Type your name with your elbow**

uhasxvcklo iol;p jnkeio;l

**Type your name with your foot**

Muhahaha. No.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

I like vanilla over chocolate. Yes. I know.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

Of course I have.

**Movie **

Shrek

**TV-show**

The Simpsons

**Song**

This is the song that never ends - _anonymous _

**What do you do for a living? **

I read mission reports. It's _fun_.

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

Oh, you know... going over mission reports, working hard...

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Why, blue jell-O, of course.  
**  
****Favorite color **

Peridot

**What are you listening to right now? **

... Should I be listening to anything?  
**  
****Winter or summer? **

Snow boarding is swell.

**Last thing you ate?**

A muffin

**Do you smoke?**

Nope

**Which country would you like to visit? **

Japan. Did you know they speak Japanese there?  
**  
****Favorite place**

My spot on SG-1. Hell yeah, good times. Oh, and Hammond's chair.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

... an Asgard

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

Love them.

**Biggest fear **

Losing someone I car- someone I _like_.

**Do you swear? **

Depends on w ho's asking.  
**  
****Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

That'd be a definite yes, and I _liked_ it.  
**  
****Attracted to **

Ye really need to ask?  
**  
****What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I'd make sure to get stuck in a time loop... No wait...  
**  
****Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

Myself : "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

I was having problems with the ventilator.

**Can you sing?**

No

**Can you dance?**

Oh yeah, I'm a professional... Thor taught me.  
**  
****Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Coffee

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Well... yeah, whipped cream's the reason I drink coffee.  
**  
****Favorite candy **

Chocolate  
**  
****Are you a health freak? **

Freak? Check. Health? Not so much.  
**  
****First thing you notice in another person **

Whether their hair grows out of usual places, like ears, or noses...  
**  
****Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

Well, let me tell you, people: me and my shoes get along just fine.

**Batman or Superman?**

McKay likes Batman better, so I'd think the anwer is obvious. Wouldn't you?

**Money or happiness**

Happiness  
**  
****Do you believe in God? **

No

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

Leaving my gun where my son could find it...  
**  
****Would you like to get married? **

Depends on to whom...  
**  
****Do you have a pet?**

Does Thor count?  
**  
****Biggest ambition **

To throw another paper plane in the dustbin.  
**  
****Best friend **

Daniel Jackson  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

My right hand. Remember the ventilator incident I talked about? Yes? No?  
**  
****Favorite book**

Daniel's guide to the newbies.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Hell, yeah... I _never_ go to the dentist. They're after your teeth and won't rest 'till they have them all...  
**  
****Do you find these questions dumb? **

Don't be silly... Meh.

**Have you showered recently? **

Can you smell me from where you're sitting? Is that answer enough for you?  
**  
****Do you like to camp? **

Hell, yeah!

**Crush on **

Carter... means horse driver.  
**  
****Who are you going to send this list to? **

Daniel Jackson, because he _has_ to read I said he's my closest friend.

**Anything to add?**

'stressed' is 'desserts' spelled backwards.


	16. Jackson

**AN:** First of all, I'd like to thank every person who's reviewed chapter 15.

I realize I may have upset some hardcore fans last chapter, and you were absolutely right to point out to me that Jack likes the Simpsons best. If you run into a line that seems out of character again, _do _let me know. I'm still getting to know the characters of SG-1, and your support would be most welcome.

That said, I think it's time to find out what our favorite archeologist has to say.

**Personality **

Daniel Jackson let out a frustrated sigh, and scowled at the picture of Ba'al that Mitchell had drawn him. After the clone-incident a few days ago, Daniel had exclaimed that he never wanted to see Ba'al again, and obviously, that had been a huge mistake.

When h e'd found the drawing pinned to the door of his lab a few seconds earlier , he'd abruptly chocked on the sip of coffee he'd been about to swallow. His glasses were spattered with drops of the black liquid and his clothes were covered in hot coffee as well.

Cursing himself for letting the drawing get to him like that, Daniel opened the door to his lab. He was busy thinking of ways to get back at his team leader when his eyes came to rest on his computer. Dr. Cobbler had said to him in the hallway that he'd sent him the translation of the Ancient tablet SG-12 had found on MX9-866. The man had a unique understanding of Ancient technology, and Daniel was eager to know what the Doctor had come up with. He hoped the man's findings could help them in their fight against the Ori.

Deciding that revenge would have to wait for the moment, he dropped into his chair and turned on the computer. There were twelve new messages waiting for him. Daniel decided he might as well read them all. His clothes were still completely soaked, but his quarters were a two-minute walk from here, and Daniel didn't feel like walking back right now. He decided to wait until his clothes were dry. Then walking wouldn't be such a terrible process either.

Jack's mail got his immediate attention. It had been a few weeks since Daniel had last heard from his former team leader, and he was curious to know what the General had to say. Maybe he'd be dropping by the SGC in the near future. Figuring that one could always hope, Daniel opened the message.

It was a good thing his coffee was all over his clothes to begin with, because no one would be able to note the difference now. Still, there were dark spots on his uniform _now _that hadn't been there ten seconds ago, and Daniel cursed his former _and _current team leaders for getting him to spill his coffee all over himself.

Jack's mail had come as a surprise, but the more he thought about it, the more Daniel realized it was a very Jack thing to do to participate in a tradition like this.

Touched by the General's answer to 'best friend', Daniel opened a new message and started typing. He already knew who was going to receive the mail.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Daniel Jackson  
**  
Where are you? **

I am in my lab.

**What are you wearing? **

A coffee-soaked uniform.

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Brown

**Relatives **

Oh. As in living relatives? Hm... I suppose you're not interested in my pedigree? Thought so.

**Is there someone with you?**

No… [insert drawl]

**Type your name with your elbow**

I would, but I'd end up smearing coffee all over my keyboard...

**Type your name with your foot**

Jack? Has the lack of activity at the office gotten to your head?

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Oh, that's an easy one: chocolate.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

I guess I have.

**Movie **

Princess of the Nile

**TV-show**

Does Discovery Channel count as a show? You see, there's no show in particular I like. I can list the shows I _don't _like, though, starting with Days of our Lives and ending with... oh, I don't know... America's next Top Model?

**Song**

Let it be – _Beatles_

**What do you do for a living? **

I try to keep my team leader out of trouble; gotta tell you, it's not an easy job.

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was busy choking coffee all over myself. Yes, hi.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I was planning on having a nice cup of coffee…  
**  
Favorite color **

The blue tint of the Stargate puddle.

**What are you listening to right now? **

I'm listening to a little voice inside my head that's telling me to strangle my team leader. It's a very insistent voice.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Summer

**Last thing you ate?**

Meatloaf

**Do you smoke?**

... This is a rhetorical question. Right?

**Which country would you like to visit? **

Oh, I think… Croatia should be interesting.  
**  
Favorite place **

Atlantis. Yes, I've finally been there, and it's amazing.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

… How old do you have to be to take this quiz? Jack?

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

No... No, I don't.

**Biggest fear **

At the moment, the Ori threat. Ask me again in a few years, when our new villain's shown up.

**Do you swear? **

Only when I get frustrated with certain people or situations.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

Surprisingly, yes, I have.  
**  
Attracted to **

[insert annoying tune]  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would get frustrated at first. Then I'd get exasperated. And I imagine dying would come next…  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

Let's see… I last talked to Dr. Lee, and I told him to redo his modifications to the ventilation system.

**Can you sing?**

Hmm… a little bit, I guess.

**Can you dance?**

That would be a definite no.  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Coffee

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No…  
**  
Favorite candy **

Blueberry muffins  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

Don't think so, not sure though.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

Whether their eyes are glowing.  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

Ehm, no… nothing comes to mind.

**Batman or Superman?**

Batman

**Money or happiness**

Happiness  
**  
Do you believe in God? **

Hm… my opinion of gods overall is pretty negative, but I'm not sure at this point… Maybe.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

The dying thing, knowing time and time again that it _hurts_.

**Would you like to get married? **

I bear some pretty heavy scares regarding marriage.  
**  
Do you have a pet?**

No  
**  
Biggest ambition **

Somehow, someway, and someday, I will make it to Atlantis. To _stay_. Watch me.  
**  
Best friend **

Well, Jack… looks like I'm returning the favor.  
**  
Last body part you injured **

My pride. No, that's not a body part. I know.  
**  
Favorite book **

The bible, I think it's the most ingenious collection ever written. That is not to say I agree with every word of it.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

… No? Should I be?  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

Is this another rhetorical question? Because… does anyone not? I'm just curious.

**Have you showered recently? **

Yes, using coffee.  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

Yes, I do.

**Crush on **

Nope, still not answering.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

To the bane of my and my uniform's existence.

**Anything to add?**

Mitchell? You just wait.


	17. Mitchell

**Title: **Personality

**Author:** Jammeke

**Disclaimer: **Pretty sure it's not mine.

**AN: **Thanks for the reviews. It's Mitchell's turn this chapter. Did anyone else think it was funny that he was constantly typing on his laptop while General Landry was trying to spend some quality time together in 'Uninvited?' Well, guess what he was doing... Have a nice read.

**Personality **

Cameron Mitchell sat down on the wooden bench outside the cabin and rested his laptop on his knees. The weather wasn't particularly good, and sitting inside would be a lot more comfortable, but the General was inside, and much as he liked the man, he always felt a bit uncomfortable around him. Cam felt like he couldn't speak freely in his presence, despite the General's insistence he relax around him.

Powering up his laptop took longer than usual, and it also took some time to establish a proper connection. But once the Internet was powered up, it didn't waver once, which was more than Cam could ask for. They were, after all, in the middle of the woods.

After entering his inbox, Mitchell immediately spotted Daniel's mail. He was still a bit pissed at the man for leaving him alone with the General, and he wondered what the archaeologist had to say for himself.

A few minutes later, the Lt. Colonel was grinning widely. He'd made Daniel spoil coffee all over himself? How had he managed that? And why hadn't he been there to see it? Alas, the fact that he had made it happen was enough to make him proud of himself. Some part of him must've sensed that Daniel was not going to make it to the cabin in time. When you put it like that, it sounded like he'd taken revenge in advance. Nice.

Cam was a little worried about how Daniel was going to get back at him, though. He'd have to take precautions around the man. But for now, Daniel wasn't here and he had nothing to do. Yeah, this mail was a nice and welcome distraction.

Still grinning like an idiot, Cameron started to type.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Cameron Mitchell  
**  
Where are you? **

I'm sitting on a bench, in the middle of the woods(!), somewhere in the United States of America.

**What are you wearing? **

A sweater, a shirt, my dog-tags, boxers, socks, shoes... I think that's about it.

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Brown

**Relatives **

My mom and dad.

**Is there someone with you?**

... The General.

**Type your name with your elbow**

dcasmneropjn jniutrcyhgewlk

**Type your name with your foot**

And how am I going to explain _that _to the General? Aw, hell... dc,fdkioplmnb ,kogvcsrewl;'

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Chocolate.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

Yeah

**Movie **

Wormhole Extreme

**TV-show**

History Hackers

**Song**

It's my life _- Bon Jovi _

**What do you do for a living? **

Saving this world on a daily basis. Yep, gotta love my job!

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was told to have fun by the General, hence my answering these questions.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee - not to get confused with the crap they serve at the SGC

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Hash browns  
**  
Favorite color **

Green

**What are you listening to right now? **

[takes a break from the typing to listen closely] - Nope, nothing.  
**  
Winter or summer? **

Winter

**Last thing you ate?**

A doughnut

**Do you smoke?**

Oh yeah, and I'm on the good stuff too. You know, just because I get shot at every day, doesn't mean I'm suicidal.

**Which country would you like to visit? **

Who'd want to visit countries if they could go OFF WORLD? Anyone? [looks around for raised hands, and spots none] Thought so.  
**  
Favorite place **

On this world, my parents' farm, I guess. Off world... still deciding. And discovering.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

Daniel, is this your way of telling me I have to 'grow up'? You hurt my feelings.

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

Do I like thunderstorms? Let me put it this way: as long as I'm _not _flying through them, they don't bother me. Much.

**Biggest fear **

To fail...

**Do you swear? **

Guilty as charged.  
**  
Have you ever climbed a mountain? **

Yep  
**  
Attracted to **

_*hums an annoying tune* _? Ah, come on... All right, Daniel, let's play it this way: you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine. Deal?  
**  
What would you do if you only had one day left? **

Hey, what's with the pessimistic attitude?  
**  
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

I think I just insulted the General, by saying something about a fat child in a candy store... Hey, how was I supposed to know the man was fat as a child?

**Can you sing?**

Whoa, no. Seriously, no. Nu uh.

**Can you dance?**

A little bit. And I stress the 'little' part.  
**  
Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Depends on my mood.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Not all of the time, but yeah... I like the taste of it.  
**  
Favorite candy **

The pie my grandmother used to make...  
**  
Are you a health freak? **

Hah, no. Me and candy are like Teal'c and his Ben&Jerry's bowl. Separate them, and you'll get hurt.  
**  
First thing you notice in another person **

The size of their ego.  
**  
Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

Hmm, let me think... The most fashionable shoes I can think of belong to Ba'al.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman

**Money or happiness**

Happiness  
**  
Do you believe in God? **

No

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

Let's see... No, there's too many. Though posing as a Kassa dealer is still one of Daniel's all time favorites.

**Would you like to get married? **

Not yet, but maybe some day... aw, I don't know.  
**  
Do you have a pet?**

No  
**  
Biggest ambition **

To get Teal'c to talk for one minute straight. Over time, I might lower the bar a little.  
**  
Best friend **

Daniel. Forget I said that.  
**  
****Last body part you injured **

My ankle  
**  
Favorite book **

Do SG-1 mission reports count as a book? I think they do.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

That depends on the dentist in question.  
**  
Do you find these questions dumb? **

I think they're _fun_. *Hear that, General? I'm having fun*

**Have you showered recently? **

Hm, I guess you could call this morning recent, right?  
**  
Do you like to camp? **

Yeah, man - I love to camp!

**Crush on **

Nope, nice try. I know the General's around here somewhere, and I don't think he'd approve of my answer.  
**  
Who are you going to send this list to? **

To Teal'c

**Anything to add?**

Er... no. Carpe diem?


	18. Teal'c

**AN: **Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I think it's great that some of you correct me on my answers, it shows that you are paying attention ;-) And it also shows that there are people out there who are more obsessed with Stargate than I am, which is a relief of some sorts.

**Personality **

"Yo! Teal'c!"

Teal'c did not need to look over his shoulder to see that Colonel Mitchell had entered the gym. He kept his attenion focused on the punching bag in front of him, and waited for Colonel Mitchell to approach him.

Breathing heavily, Colonel Mitchell came to a halt beside him, and rested his hands on his knees. "Been looking all over for you."

Teal'c didn't feel inclined to respond. Instead of answering, he raised an eyebrow. Colonel Mitchell had interrupted him in the middle of a workout session. If the man was a bearer of important news, Teal'c did not believe he would mind being interrupted. However, if Colonel Mitchell had been looking for him without good reason, Teal'c would continue to assault the punching bag.

Colonel Mitchell seemed to realize Teal'c was not going to respond. "Yeah... So, how long have you been at it?"

"For little under four hours," Teal'c answered, as he continued to measure up the punching bag. Suddenly, he lashed out and hit the thing in the middle, causing it to fly backwards. Before the bag got a chance to swing back, Teal'c hit it again, this time with his left foot.

Colonel Mitchell took a step back. "Okay. What I came here to ask, is whether you ever check your mail." He stared at Teal'c expectantly.

Teal'c hit the bag again.

"So, do you?"

Realizing the man was not going to let the matter drop, Teal'c halted in his movements. "I do not."

Colonel Mitchell nodded slowly. "I figured as much. Look, there's a mail waiting for you, and I need you to read it."

Teal'c bowed his head in acceptance. "Is it of great importance?"

Colonel Mitchell seemed to consider this for a moment. "Well, no. Unless you consider your hair color important." With a look at Teal'c passive face, he pressed on. "Look, Teal'c. Just... check your mail. It will only take a few minutes." After that, he slapped Teal'c on his shoulder and walked away.

Teal'c watched him go, and slowly shook his head. He would visit Daniel Jackson later today, for Teal'c did not have a laptop himself. And then he would see what it was that had Colonel Mitchell jogging around and looking for him.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Teal'c

**Where are you? **

I am in the lab of Daniel Jackson.

**What are you wearing? **

I am wearing my base uniform.

**Eye color**

Brown

**Hair color**

Black

**Relatives**

My son Rya'c.

**Is there someone with you?**

I am with Daniel Jackson.

**Type your name with your elbow**

Daniel Jackson will not permit me this action.

**Type your name with your foot**

Nor will he allow me to act on this request.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

I do believe I have a preference for chocolate.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

I have allowed myself to descend from a plane six years ago.

**Movie**

Star Wars

**TV-show**

Lassie

**Song**

Kel Sha

**What do you do for a living? **

I do not understand the meaning of this question.

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was most focused on improving my reflexes in the Gym.

**Coffee or tea?**

I do not find either of them very satisfying.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

A chocolate chip coo'kie  
**  
****Favorite color**

Why would I place one color above the others?

**What are you listening to right now? **

Even now Daniel Jackson is trying to explain to me the meaning of the sentence 'what do you do for a living?'  
**  
****Winter or summer?**

Does it matter? The Tau'ri are not capable of affecting the weather either way.

**Last thing you ate?**

Ice cre'am.

**Do you smoke?**

I have not ever understood why the Tau'ri choose to inhale smoke into their lungs. It appears most unhealthy.

**Which country would you like to visit? **

I do not wish to visit another location on this planet.  
**  
****Favorite place **

Is it not possible to appreciate more than one location?

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

Am I not an adult?

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

I do not see why I would.

**Biggest fear **

I fear that thousand of innocent lives will be lost to the followers of the Ori.

**Do you swear? **

I am not familiar with the gods of this world.  
**  
****Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Indeed I have.  
**  
****Attracted to **

The ground beneath my feet, or I would not be sitting here. I believe the Tau'ri refer to this process as gra'vity.  
**  
****What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I would die with honor, and strive to take my enemy down with me.  
**  
****Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

I last spoke to Daniel Jackson. I asked him if he would soon stop watching over my shoulder.

**Can you sing?**

I can but do not.

**Can you dance?**

I can not.  
**  
****Hot chocolate or coffee? **

There is no doubt in my mind that my answer is hot chocolate.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

I have not ever done so.  
**  
****Favorite candy **

I have not a favorite candy.  
**  
****Are you a health freak? **

I do not believe these two words to have anything to do with one another.  
**  
****First thing you notice in another person **

Their honor.  
**  
****Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

Why would I choose to stand in shoes other than my own? And would other people not mind if I were to put on their shoes?

**Batman or Superman?**

I am not familiar with either of these terms.

**Money or happiness**

Happiness  
**  
****Do you believe in God? **

I do not believe in any god.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

I have allowed for too many loved ones to slip away from me.

**Would you like to get married? **

I do not.  
**  
****Do you have a pet?**

I have not.  
**  
****Biggest ambition**

I very much wish to defeat the Ori fleet.  
**  
****Best friend **

I have many.  
**  
****Last body part you injured**

I greatly injured my shoulder two weeks ago.  
**  
****Favorite book **

I have not one favorite book.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Who is this dentist that I should fear him?  
**  
****Do you find these questions dumb? **

I would not go so far as to call them dumb. However, I do believe they are greatly short-sighted.

**Have you showered recently? **

I have.  
**  
****Do you like to camp? **

I do indeed.

**Crush on **

If my interpretation of this question is correct, I do not believe I choose to respond.  
**  
****Who are you going to send this list to? **

I will send the message to Colonel Carter.

**Anything to add?**

X


	19. Carter

**Personality **

Sam dropped her bag on the bed and took a moment to let the moment sink in. She was back in her quarters at the SGC, and she was still alive.

More significantly, she was back in her own reality. She'd become quite experienced at dealing with alternate universes, but it never ceased to amaze her that everything always seemed to turn out all right in the end. This particular universe had been unnerving, and Sam was glad to state that her own reality was as normal as it could get.

The fact that her other self had died was something she was still having trouble dealing with. It was weird to know that in another reality, she was already dead. Well, she'd probably died in more than one reality, because there was an infinite number of alternate realities. She wondered if she - _they _had suffered.

Pushing that thought from her mind, she sat down behind her laptop. Dying was something she didn't like to ponder on, and dealing with the troubles in her own universe was worrisome enough for her.

She'd been gone for quite some time, and she suspected there would be tons of messages waiting for her. Her team was going to scold at her for getting back to work this soon, but Sam knew that working was the only way to forget about recent events right now. To her, work wasn't punishment. It was and would always be her first love, and she was well aware of the fact that her job was the only thing that kept her from going insane.

After reading the message from Teal'c, Sam decided that work wasn't the only thing that kept her from losing it. Her job had proven to be a good distraction, yes… but her friends made for an even better distraction when she was feeling down.

With a smile, she began to type.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Samantha Carter, but call me Sam ;-)

**Where are you? **

I am in my quarters. Oh, and in my own reality.

**What are you wearing? **

My base uniform.

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Blonde

**Relatives**

Mark and his family. And Uncle Irving, of course.

**Is there someone with you?**

I don't think there is.

**Type your name with your elbow**

Wh- all right.

Asdas,m dcastrewre

**Type your name with your foot**

Oh, come on!

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Definitely chocolate.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

Yeah, multiple times, actually.

**Movie**

Singin' in the Rain

**TV-show**

I have to confess to watching Grey's Anatomy every now and then.

**Song**

Run _– Snow Patrol _

**What do you do for a living? **

I'm an astrophysicist and an Air Force officer.

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was just about to start making my way through the notes on a device that could teach us more about ascension.

**Coffee or tea?**

That depends on my mood, actually. See; right know it would be tea. Herbal tea, that is.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

… I really don't remember. A lot of time has passed since then.  
**  
****Favorite color**

Blue, I guess.

**What are you listening to right now? **

To nothing. It's refreshing, actually.  
**  
****Winter or summer?**

Summer

**Last thing you ate?**

Yeah. See, I know I had breakfast… God, what was it?

**Do you smoke?**

Do you really need to ask?

**Which country would you like to visit? **

I'd love to go to Israel.  
**  
****Favorite place **

My lab. Don't hit me.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

I always wanted to be an astronaut. Guess I've taken it a step further than that.

**Do you like thunderstorms? **

I don't think I do.

**Biggest fear **

I fear that one day, we won't be able to save Earth.

**Do you swear? **

Generally, I don't.  
**  
****Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Yeah, I have.  
**  
****Attracted to **

… Nope, not telling you.  
**  
****What would you do if you only had one day left? **

I guess I would make sure Cassandra has someone else to go to.  
**  
****Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? **

I think that was Vala, and I thanked her for stating she's missed me.

**Can you sing?**

Well, I… yes.

**Can you dance?**

Yeah, I can.  
**  
****Hot chocolate or coffee? **

Can I say mochaccino?

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Occasionally, yes.  
**  
****Favorite candy **

Blue Jell-O.  
**  
****Are you a health freak? **

I don't think so.  
**  
****First thing you notice in another person **

Wh- oh, well… their eyes, I guess. Yeah, I know it's cliché.  
**  
****Whose shoes would you like to stand in? **

I think it would be fun to know what it feels like to be Vala, but I wouldn't want to stand in her shoes indefinitely. Speaking of shoes, Vala - can I have my black pair back?

**Batman or Superman?**

Batman

**Money or happiness**

Happiness  
**  
****Do you believe in God? **

... I only know of some gods I _don't _believe in.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done **

Well, I don't know about _stupidest_, but getting sent to an alternate reality is one of my most recent ones.

**Would you like to get married? **

Oh. I don't see anything like that happening in the near feature.  
**  
****Do you have a pet?**

Not anymore.  
**  
****Biggest ambition**

I'd like to learn how to play the cello.  
**  
****Best friend **

My team, Vala…  
**  
****Last body part you injured**

I took a pretty hard knock on the head when I got sucked into my last alternate reality.  
**  
****Favorite book **

"Science, Evolution and Creationism"

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

No, I'm not.  
**  
****Do you find these questions dumb? **

Well, that depends on how you define 'dumb'…

**Have you showered recently? **

Yeah, I have.  
**  
****Do you like to camp? **

Oh sure, when the weather's not too bad.

**Crush on **

Nope, nice try.  
**  
****Who are you going to send this list to? **

I think Vala will enjoy answering these questions.

**Anything to add?**

Vala? I really need my shoes back.


	20. Vala

**AN: **I know, I know. It's been too long. I have nothing to say for myself, except... please don't kill me? I hope some people are still interested in this story.

**Personality **

Vala stared at the screen of the laptop.

After weeks of begging, friendly asking, demanding, threatening and singing, Vala had finally got Sam to teach her how to work with a computer. Much as Vala enjoyed being part of SG-1, spending time in the SGC wasn't exactly her idea of fun. However, Vala had found that surfing the Internet for information on aliens – ET being her favorite so far – and interesting pictures that made Daniel blush, made her stay on Earth _much_ more pleasurable.

Once Cam found out about Vala's new hobby, he'd insisted she get an account to be properly kept up to date. Having heard only amazing things about Swiss bank accounts, she had agreed to let him make her one. The account had not exactly lived up to its reputations, but Vala did enjoy reading the advertisement messages about lingerie sales. She often found herself wondering who the kind people behind the informative mails were.

Apparently, Sam was into sending messages as well, though Vala was disappointed to see the Lt. Colonel had nothing to say about cheap underwear. Her message was filled with the weirdest questions. Fortunately, Vala was a professional at doing weird things – and why not help the kind Air Force Officer out? If she could do her new best friend a favor by answering the questions, she would be more than willing to do just that.

Ignoring the sound of pounding fists on the door to her quarters, Vala opened a new text message. She decided she would send the mail to the kind man behind the DHD in the control room. She didn't know his name, but she really liked his glasses. And since he was practically part of the control room furniture, she suspected he could do with a little amusement. Fortunately, Vala was kind enough to give him some time off from dialling duty.

The pounding fists on her door were starting to annoy her. "Daniel? Just shut up, would you? You _will_ get your laptop back once I'm done with it. Why don't you go examine something old and dusty in the meantime?" Then, remembering the last line of Sam's mail, she added, "And would you tell Sam I'll give her back her shoes _after_ I wear them to Cam's High School Reunion?" She skipped a beat. "Don't tell Cam about that last part. He doesn't know I'm coming with him yet."

Confident she'd taken care of everything for now, Vala started to type.

* * *

**What is your name? **

Vala Mal Doran. What's yours, sugar?

**Where are you? **

I'm fairly confident it spells Cheyenne Mountain on the board outside, but they won't let me out and take a look up close.

**What are you wearing? **

Trust me, you don't want to know. I mean, really, what is the physiology behind these shapeless base uniforms?

**Eye color**

Blue

**Hair color**

Black

**Relatives**

Now _that's _something I'd rather not talk about.

**Is there someone with you?**

Not that I'm aware of.

**Type your name with your elbow**

Calja mnaslk diopjreajn

Just so you know, Daniel is going to kill me for doing that. Provided I decide to give back the laptop, of course.

**Type your name with your foot**

vsdvas;ke mas;pk fdpiotrank

It says here I just typed 'control alt delete'. Did I? Is that bad?

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Why, the ever dark and sinful chocolate, of course.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

No. But you _didn't_ ask if I ever jumped out of a Ha'tak…

**Movie**

National Treasure

**TV-show**

Definitely Spongebob.

**Song**

Supermassive black hole _– Muse_

**What do you do for a living? **

Oh, you know… I tend to _borrow... _Hm. All right. Moving on to the next question.

**What were you doing before you opened this? **

I was very busy considering whether or not I actually _wanted_ to open this message.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee. With sugar. Lots of sugar.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Ugh, what Daniel usually orders: dry toast and coffee. He should be relieved I… _relieved_ him of the tray.  
**  
****Favorite color**

Black

**What are you listening to right now?**

Well, judging by the lack of fist pounding, I'm guessing Daniel's sauntered off by now... It's awfully quiet in here.  
**  
****Winter or summer?**

Ah, let me think… winter when Daniel's around to throw snowballs at; summer when there's a beach at my disposal.

**Last thing you ate?**

Ugh… did you know Daniel lunches with toast, too?

**Do you smoke?**

That would fit my image, wouldn't it?

I don't. Daniel won't let me.

**Which country would you like to visit?**

Egypt. Surely, the archaeologists of Earth can't have dug up _every_ Ancient treasure there…  
**  
****Favorite place**

The ball pit at McDonald's.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

I'm not quite sure how to interpret this question. Must ask Daniel about it sometime.

**Do you like thunderstorms?**

Only when I'm not flying through them.

**Biggest fear**

Grey hair. Oh – and the possibility that my daughter is going to be the downfall of this galaxy.

**Do you swear?**

Is this a rhetorical question?  
**  
****Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

Yeah… So?  
**  
****Attracted to**

Probably half of Earth's male population. But Daniel's my favorite.  
**  
****What would you do if you only had one day left?**

Is that a threat?  
**  
****Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

Well, that would be Daniel. I kindly requested him to leave.

**Can you sing?**

Ask my shower. Or Sam.

**Can you dance?**

Yes  
**  
****Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Why is that second option even there?

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Yes, whenever I get the opportunity.  
**  
****Favorite candy**

Lollipops.  
**  
****Are you a health freak?**

Dieting and working out? _Not_ my idea of a good time.  
**  
****First thing you notice in another person**

Oh – let me guess. You all expect me to answer this question honestly? Well, I'm very sorry to disappoint. Their _eyes_.  
**  
****Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

I bet Sam would be more than willing to answer this one.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman. Like the outfit. It's cheery.

**Money or happiness**

See, I like to compare these terms to 'good and evil': one can not exist without the other.  
**  
****Do you believe in God?**

Seriously?

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

Tough. Really tough… I think it has to be the merchant from PX7-MG5.

**Would you like to get married?**

Me? Huh, someone has a wild imagination…  
**  
****Do you have a pet?**

No  
**  
****Biggest ambition**

Oh, you know… universal peace, the cure for all disease, defeating the Ori… hitting a casino in Vegas.  
**  
****Best friend**

Sam  
**  
****Last body part you injured**

My knee's still a bit sore from gently telling that fifty year old scientist off.  
**  
****Favorite book**

Alice in Wonderland

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

People tell me I _should_ be.  
**  
****Do you find these questions dumb?**

Do you really need to ask?

**Have you showered recently?**

_Of course_ I have.  
**  
****Do you like to camp?**

Call me romantic, but I prefer soft comfy beds and hot water over rocky ground and rain

**Crush on**

What is it with you people and repeating questions?  
**  
****Who are you going to send this list to?**

The little guy with the glasses behind the DHD. I thought his name was something along the lines of Wallie…

**Anything to add?**

I don't know where the people of this planet have gotten this ridiculous idea, but the meaning of life is _not_ 42.


	21. Walter

**Personality**

Walter Harriman was dreaming.

Well, it was either that, or he'd died and reincarnated as a normal human being; someone who wasn't stuck behind a DHD all day.

For once, he was not looking at the Gate computer, was _not_looking at gate symbols and receiving personal identification codes. No, Walter Harriman was looking at the screen of a plain Microsoft computer. He was in fact staring at his inbox, trying to take in the fact that he'd received a message from Vala Mal Doran.

Speaking of which, the chief hadn't seen much of the black haired woman lately. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that her daughter had died and ascended. There was no way to know what the newest member of SG-1 was going through, but what Walter did know, was that she was in pain.

It wasn't the sort of pain inflicted by staff weapons or hot coffee; no, it went much deeper than that. It was the sort of pain Walter experienced when his father died – maybe even more painful than that, because parents weren't meant to outlive their children. Though, at this point, no one was sure if Adria could actually be referred to as dead. Or alive.

The chief shook his head. This was exactly why he preferred being on duty 24/7. His job didn't leave him with much time to think. And when Walter started thinking, there was no bringing the rollercoaster to a halt. He'd think and think and think – until gate symbols started turning up in his mind and he started dialling gate address at his cell phone. At which point, someone would get him a sleeping-pill and tell him to get some rest.

Answering pointless questions seemed like a good way to distract his overanalysing mind from pondering Vala's misery.

Focusing on his keyboard, the Chief was shocked to see there were Ancient symbols on his keys!

He blinked.

The symbols slowly molded into common characters. Shaking his head, Walter Harriman opened a new message and started typing.

* * *

**What is your name?**

I am Walter Harriman.

**Where are you?**

I am in my quarters.

**What are you wearing?**

I'm wearing my base uniform.

**Eye Color**

I'm not actually sure; it's always so dark in here. I think it's blue.

**Hair color**

Grey

**Relatives**

-

**Is there someone with you?**

No, Sir.

**Type your name with your elbow**

M7H-885

**Type your name with your foot**

M8G-277

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Vanilla… I think.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

No

**Movie**

Phone Booth

**TV-show**

Friends

**Song**

The call – _Regina Spektor_

**What do you do for a living?**

I'm a staff member at Stargate operations. That involves making sure incoming travellers don't get smashed against the Iris. By accident, Sir.

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

I was… sitting in my usual spot behind the DHD, Sir. Or… whoever's reading this.

**Coffee or tea?**

Coffee

**What did you have for breakfast?**

I had three teams dialling in from worlds that were being targeted by the Ori. They were coming in hot – I didn't even have to warm them up. Wait, I believe that was sarcasm. Did I just –

**Favorite color**

Pink. You don't see a lot of it down here.

**What are you listening to right now?  
**  
I am not listening to anything, Sir.

**Winter or summer?  
**

I honestly can't tell the difference, although I do believe the energy bill gets higher during winter.

**Last thing you ate**

A salmon sandwich

**Do you smoke?**

No, Sir!

**Which country would you like to visit?**

I'd like to travel to the surface one day.

**Favorite place**

The hollow oak tree in my grandmother's back yard... or what used to be her yard. It now belongs to someone else. I think.

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

I er… kind of actually wanted to become a science fiction writer. Sort of. Actually.

**Do you like thunderstorms?  
**

If I remember correctly, SG-1 once used lightening to dial back home. I think that means I like thunderstorms.

**Biggest fear**

To travel through the Gate myself. Yes. Oh yes.

**Do you swear?**

Er… no? I try not to.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

I haven't.

**Attracted to**

What? No one, Sir!

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

I guess I would make sure I had proper replacement?

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I think that was… General Landry. The General advised me to get some sleep and not show up at Stargate Operations for three days.

**Can you sing?**

I er… I don't know?

**Can you dance?**

I can't dance. No.

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Coffee?

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

No, I don't. I'm not sure I'm allowed to, actually… I believe the cafeteria staff save their whipped cream for our most valuable scientists.

**Favorite candy**

I don't eat can- no, that's not true. I sometimes eat chewing gum. You never know if Siler might need some to fix the Gate.

**Are you a health freak?**

Well, the meals they serve at the cafeteria aren't unhealthy, obviously, but I wouldn't go as far as to say they're healthy either. I certainly don't mean to imply the SGC serves bad food. It's just that… some fresh vegetables would be nice. For a change. Or at the very least something you don't have to unwrap first.

**First thing you notice in another person**

Their identification code

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

I, er… I wouldn't… well – you know, as in… General Landry's. Maybe.

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman

**Money or happiness?**

Happiness?

**Do you believe in God?**

I… yes. I think I do.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

I prefer not to talk about – well… spoiling coffee over your CO's uniform isn't that bad, is it? General Hammond told me it was all right. I guess it was. Though it really wasn't… well, I just… I prefer not to talk about it.

**Would you like to get married?**

Me?

**Do you have a pet?**

No, I don't have time for animals. Or anything resembling a hobby at all.

**Biggest ambition**

I would sort of like to… sit in General Landry's chair. It looks very comfortable.

**Best friend**

Siler… I think.

**Last body part you injured**

My tailbone. I sort of misjudged the height of my chair when I sat down three weeks ago.

**Favorite book**

The phone book? It's the only book I ever read.

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

I never go to the dentist. I mean – no, I'm not.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

No?

**Have you showered recently?**

I sort of… MPG-767.

**Do you like to camp?**

No, I don't.

**Crush on**

Chevron 3 encod- er… What was I saying? Oh, right, the question… No one, I think.

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

I am going to send this list to Dr. Jennifer Keller, because she travelled to Atlantis a few months ago, and I know for a fact that new personnel are always eager to hear from people back on Earth. Hi, Dr. Keller. I mean, hello. Or… Good day.

**Anything to add?**

No, Sir.


	22. Keller

**Title**: Personality

**Author**: Jammeke

**AN**: Well, it looks like we're back in Atlantis. Thanks for the continued support.

**Personality**

Jennifer Keller had taken an oath that said she could do no harm, and that was the reason why she wasn't busy strangling McKay right now.

The Doctor had come to the infirmary earlier today, and asked her for an aspirin. Jennifer wasn't fond of handing out aspirins to people who weren't in need of medical treatment, and that was why she'd asked the Doctor _why _he thought he needed an aspirin.

He'd stared at her, before snapping his fingers and holding out his hand expectantly.

She'd dutifully explained to him that the frequent use of medication causes the body's immune system to grow lazy after a while.

He'd asked for an aspirin again.

She'd told him that the body stops fighting unwanted bacteria itself after a while.

He'd asked her if she was deaf.

After McKay had gone, Jennifer had sat down behind her laptop and proceeded to rub her temples for a long time. She was usually quite good at dealing with the scientist, better than most people actually, but she would never get used to his constant colds, diseases, allergics and other little pains.

And the splinters. God, the splinters.

Most people she treated were older and more experienced than her, which made her feel unsure about treating them. Even most of her staff was older than her. It was disconcerting. But in McKay's case, Jennifer was usually quite sure of herself when she stated the man was absolutely fine.

She should thank him for giving her that little bit of confidence she so desperately needed to make it through a day of being Atlantis' Head of Science.

The doctor took a sip of water, sighed, and opened her mailbox. The message from Sergeant Harriman made her smile. She didn't know who the man was, but this message was just what she needed to blow off some steam. In a relatively non-tiring and non-agressive way.

* * *

**What is your name?**

My name is Jennifer Keller.

**Where are you?**

I'm in the infirmary... on Atlantis... in another galaxy.

**What are you wearing?**

I'm wearing my base uniform.

**Eye Color**

Brown

**Hair color**

Blonde

**Relatives**

My father.

**Is there someone with you?**

Er, yes... several someones in fact. I suppose that's a good thing, because I'd hate to be the only doctor on duty.

**Type your name with your elbow**

kjewbnnbuifewre kjelkletr

Hm... Do I really perform surgery with these fingers?

**Type your name with your foot**

Er... Actually, I don't think I'm allowed to crash this laptop.

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Ooh, that's a difficult one. I think I'm going to go with chocolate. But I love vanilla, too.

**Have you ever jumped out of a plane?**

God, no. And I sincerely hope I never will.

**Movie**

Grease

**TV-show**

Grey's Anatomy

**Song**

You're beautiful – _James Blunt_

**What do you do for a living?**

Well, I'm Atlantis' Chief Medical Officer.

**What were you doing before you opened this?**

I was providing McKay with yet another aspirin. I think I'm going to need to order new ones. Again.

**Coffee or tea?**

Well... can I go with both? Actually, I think I might like tea better.

**What did you have for breakfast?**

Orange juice

**Favorite color**

Red. No wait, yellow. Or... orange.

**What are you listening to right now?  
**  
I don't believe I... Oh. I just heard Mary sneeze.

**Winter or summer?  
**

I think I'm a summer person.

**Last thing you ate**

Er... I believe that was a fruit cup.

**Do you smoke?**

Of course I don't.

**Which country would you like to visit?**

Well... I'd love to go to France. Or... you know, maybe Spain?

**Favorite place**

Pffhew. I like fairs. And flea markets. And... deserted beaches. Guess that doesn't really add up, huh?

**What do you want to be when you are an adult?**

I've always known I wanted to be a doctor. A Chief Medical Officer, however? Not so much. Or at least, not at this age.

**Do you like thunderstorms?  
**

No. No, I hate thunderstorms. When I was little, my dad _always _had to haul me out from under my bed when it was thundering outside.

**Biggest fear**

Oh dear... I'm afraid of heights, bugs, being responsible, being _held _responsible, getting injured... But I guess my biggest fear is to lose lives on the operating table.

**Do you swear?**

Well, no. At least, I try not to.

**Have you ever climbed a mountain?**

No. I'm good at the _bottom _of the mountain, thank you.

**Attracted to**

Well, I... No. No, I can't.

**What would you do if you only had one day left?**

Oh. Is it normal to be slightly disturbed by this question? I guess I'd... contact my father and tell him I love him.

**Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?**

I last talked to Dr. Rodney McKay, and I told him I'm not deaf. Yeah... It's kind of a long story.

**Can you sing?**

Well, I... can't?

**Can you dance?**

Yes, that I am capable of.

**Hot chocolate or coffee?**

Definitely hot chocolate.

**Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?**

Well, I'd love to, but... I kind of want to maintain my weight.

**Favorite candy**

Hm... strawberry ice cream.

**Are you a health freak?**

I kind of am... out of necessity.

**First thing you notice in another person**

That kind of depends on whether they're under a medical scanner or standing right in front of me...

**Whose shoes would you like to stand in?**

Well... I'm not sure I'd _like _to stand in Teyla's shoes, because she often wears uncomfortable sandals, but... it would be kind of nice to be more like her...

**Batman or Superman?**

Superman?

**Money or happiness?**

Ehm... happiness. I guess.

**Do you believe in God?**

Yeah... sort of.

**The stupidest thing you've ever done**

I guess... getting Rodney McKay to reactivate Elizabeth Weir's nanites has been my biggest mistake so far.

**Would you like to get married?**

Er... maybe? One day?

**Do you have a pet?**

Huh. Are we allowed to have pets?

**Biggest ambition**

No ambitions for me anytime soon, I'm afraid. I'm already in way over my head.

**Best friend**

At the moment... Samantha Carter. Right? I'm not really sure... Teyla's also a good friend.

**Last body part you injured**

Wait, I know the answer to this one. I think... that was my... knee. Yes.

**Favorite book**

Atonement - _Ian McEwan _

**Are you afraid of the dentist?**

Well, that's one of the few things I'm not afraid of, actually... Medical treatment I can deal with.

**Do you find these questions dumb?**

No, I find them... funny.

**Have you showered recently?**

Of course I have. I wouldn't risk getting the open wounds of my patients infected.

**Do you like to camp?**

Actually... I'm not much of a camper.

**Crush on**

Wh- No. Besides, it's not like I'm... No, I'm just not going to... No. No crushes. Crutches, on the other hand... ;-)

**Who are you going to send this list to?**

I'm going to send this list to... Amelia Banks, because I kind of know what it feels like to be the newbie around here...

**Anything to add?**

I... don't think so.


End file.
